Triggering (Suicide) - sectioned, just discharged- NOT COPING! be careful!

lozstar88 · 14-03-2009, 05:48 AM

Please help, I am not coping very well at the moment at all!

I have just been discharged from hopstial after being sectioned for a week and half.

I OD and at the moment I really want to do it again...
My body is still recovering from the OD so I know it wouldn't take much...

I can't stop shaking, my mum has just left to go to the supermarket so there is nobody home...I don't want to hurt my family and friends again but right now I am finding very very hard to cope...

The hopsital I was at don't give a damn, I broke something and tried to hurt myself with that and they did nothing at all but take it off me....I told them if they sent me home I would just OD but they still sent me home...maybe that's what they want?
advice? anyone?
HELP!

-Rainbow- · 14-03-2009, 06:05 AM

i cant believe someone would just let someone go when they are in a time of need :(
*hugs*
thats so shocking. try and hold on until your mum gets home, can you talk to her about these issues at all? when she gets home maybe talk to her and tell her your not feeling very well at all.
in the mean time, maybe try crisis line or life line?? give them a call and they will give you someone to talk to who understands.
keep typing and talking on here bout how you are feeling. just stay around.
OD may kill you if you do it again. try to hold it out
*more hugs*

lozstar88 · 14-03-2009, 06:16 AM

my mum didn't even realise I had depression or anything...I put on a facade and hid it from them all...she found out by getting a phone call from the ED department saying I was in hopsital :(

She still doesn't know about my SH or ED....this is all still a HUGE shock to her and she just doesn't know how to deal with me at the moment...she can't even look at me without crying...I don't want to freak her out.

I want to call the crisis line that the hospital gave to me but I'm scared...I don't want to be sectioned again when my family and friends think I am "cured"

lozstar88 · 14-03-2009, 06:17 AM

thank-you for replying and for the hug hun...
(I'm in Aus too :)

-Rainbow- · 14-03-2009, 06:27 AM

oh really?? cool, what part are you in?? im in melbourne :)
do you have a friend you can call who understands this, like someone who knows about your situation who may be able to help you or even just distract you until you are feeling a little more calm?
maybe put some music on and play a game on your computer.. or facebook stalk (that distracts me a lot)
you could even put something on tv, a favorite dvd perhaps?
whats on your mind at the moment, ill stay and help you if you want
xx

lozza · 14-03-2009, 08:11 AM

oh hunni *holds tightly*

Please know that I am here for you always no matter what... I know that things are tough for you right now... hence asking if I could come down on Monday cuz I thought it may make it a bit easier if you had a close friend around who knew what was going on for you.

It is so great having you back home but I am sorry that you didnt get much from being there... especially when you told them you still werent feeling safe but yet them still sending you home!! But then... I guess that is the puiblic health system for you!!

Please know that you can always turn to me hunni, no matter what ok? You mean so much to me and I will never turn my back on you... I mean come on I have BPD... why would I be leaving someone who I cannot live without!!!!

Please talk to us hunni. I am here to listen and to help and so are many other people from here!!

Hang in there ok... and call of txt when ever you need/ want to. You do NOT have to go through this alone. I am with you, standing beside you, holding your hand.

We CAN do this loz!!! We can and will get through this.... we BOTH will!!! Promise.

*big hugs*

Loz. xxx

Casper_Fading · 14-03-2009, 09:43 AM

Hey sweetheart :) I'm so sorry your hospital stay sucks arse >.< where were you in? *cuddles*

you need to call the crisis line. If you're not safe, you need to reach out to people who may be able to help you. Don't shut yourself down again becasue it'll just end up feeding the cycle.

*cuddles you tightly* you're worth the help you need. Take offers of friends that want to help. DOn't shut people out. *cuddles you tightly* let people around you who care help you honey!!!!

*cuddles*

_plastic · 14-03-2009, 10:16 AM

I'm so sory to hear things got that way Laureen.

Please give your body time to recover.

Are you being safe where you are now ?

xx

lozstar88 · 14-03-2009, 01:13 PM

NOT COPING, NOT COPING!
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO....FEEL EMPTY

I have so many pills in front of me....blue ones, red ones, green ones, pink ones, white ones, black and orange ones

It is hilarious because my bedroom door is wide open as part of my new rules since being discharged, yet I can still pop pills and cut with no one caring.....I'm scared....of me

Kuwairo · 14-03-2009, 01:28 PM

Hun, can you leave your room for a bit? Go downstairs, make a drink, watch some TV or something? Some form of mindless entertainment to keep you distracted for a while, maybe challenge someone in the arcade?
The others a right, you deserve the help that you need, so grab it. Ring the crisis team, talk to the friends who know what's going on. You can get through this hun, you have to keep fighting, however hard it is.

Katiee · 14-03-2009, 04:36 PM

Hun, just calm down and take some deep breathes. *HUGS*
It won't be like this forever, you will get through this. Keep yourself busy if you can. As already said, go downstairs watch some TV, write about how you're feeling, get some fresh air (this normally calms me down) ect. Is there anyone you could talk to? Maybe talk to your mum? Or ring a friend? Please don't overdose this won't help or making any easier, only wrose and more difficult to cope with. As you've said you don't want to hurt your family and friends again. *HUGS* Take care, this will pass. xx

x-dying-inside-x · 14-03-2009, 04:39 PM

hunny please call the number the hospital gave you.
xxx

brap_brap · 14-03-2009, 06:42 PM

Hey *hugs* how are you feeling now. go out for a walk thats calms me down and chills me out for a bit

-Rainbow- · 15-03-2009, 08:37 AM

im so sorry i had to leave yesterday.
please tell me you didnt take the pills tho.
you have the strength in you to stick around,
if you are scared of yourself, can you please call the hospital
or PM me or someone else who knows the situation.
write it out, all your feelings. just write out everything to get t out
whether it makes sense or not, it can be a good release.
<3
hang in there *hugs again*

lozstar88 · 15-03-2009, 10:16 AM

:) I'm from Melbourne too...

I didn't take the pills...well not all of them anyway...I took a couple and then stopped...not enough to do much damage though

I had an appointment today with the Youth Assessment Team....mandatory meeting after being released and I hated the woman that interviewed me...she turned everything against me...made me feel worse and then when it was exactly 30 mins- sent me home...in tears...

I called a friend who is a counsellor and she calmed me down...but right now I am feeling really over-whelmed...I don't know what to do

l'il esky · 15-03-2009, 11:33 AM

hey pumpkin,

im so sorry the hospital didnt help at all! you kinda wonder what the point was in the first place!!!!

you need to speak to a proffesional tho hun.....is there a dr that you feel comfortable with that you know could help??
i know loz will be there to help you all the way and i am too.....just in England but you know i am ALWAYS here for you, forever and ever. and you know im only a pm away :)

*huggles and kisses* xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Micio · 18-03-2009, 10:40 AM

there is always hope.
None of this is your fault. I know that is the hardest thing to believe right now but you have done nothing wrong, and never did anything wrong.. and i think a part of you, deep down somewhere in you knows that you deserve more than this.
hold on hun. there's so much more to life than this.
talk soon.