Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - :( dont know what to do
i really dont know what to do, lately iv started to have therapy and its opend up all the things that happend to me while i was growing up, and i have memorys of being abused at first i didnt remember much bt now its becoming clearer and i rememberd the persons name, i thort my hed was just making it up but i asked my foster mum about the "name" i rememberd and from the way she reacted and her face i know she knows what happend, i didnt tell her what i remembered i dnt want to talk to her about it bt i need to know the truth iv found out that "the name" was around from wen iwas 3 til i was 4 1/2, i dont know what to do and this is tearing my head apart, if my foster mum new y ddnt she help, i wish i didnt remember its screwing my head up Didnt anyone around me care enough to stop it or to tell me
[ƸӜƷ]x.ILY.x[ƸӜƷ]
" I believe [dreams] are sacred, Take my darkest [fears] and play them, like a lullaby, like a reason [why]"
So, I just wrote a reply to this and my computer freaked and erased it :((. I'll try again :)) So, I can sort of, in a way, understand where you are coming from. When people ask me the question, "Have you ever been abused," I don't know the answer. I used to know the answer though. The answer was yes, my dad did. But, now, the memory of anything that may or may not have happened is gone. I don't remember, so I don't know if my mind may have made that up or not.
As far as my thoughts on your foster mom not telling you that something happened, maybe she didn't really know for sure. It could be that the question of whether or not something happened was on her mind. She could have suspected it but since she didn't know for sure, she didn't say anything. That would make sense especially if 'the name' was abusive to her in any way or aggressive, she could have been afraid to accuse him of something. She may have been waiting for the day you mentioned and when you didn't up till now, maybe she dismissed the thought of anything ever happening.
I've gone around everywhere.
I've searched around everywhere.
I've turned around everywhere.
There's no one, there's no one like Him.
There's no one, there's no one like Jesus.
There's no one, there's no one like Jesus.
There's no one, there's no one like Jesus.
There's no one, there's no one like Him.
Hi Ily. I understand where you are coming from. I have had flashbacks also of abuse and confronted my mom about them. She came right out and told me though that it did happen. But she had done what your foster mother did and that was not tell me. She said she was waiting for when I came to her and asked. Maybe it's the same thing or maybe she was to scared to tell you? IDK, but I hope that you are doing okay. Just thought I would let you know that your not alone.
=) *Hugs* PM me anytime if you need to talk.
~~SW~~
**~~When night falls on me, I'll not close my eyes, I'm to alive, and you're to strong~~**
**~~ If you feel alone, or just want someone to care, I will. PM ME and I will LISTEN~~**
*cuddles*
I know it is very very hard when you start opening up about these things but I promise you it will get easier and you can get through this so don't give up.
Children are very very good at hiding things that does not mean that she didn't care and maybe the reason noone has told you was because if they thought you didn't remember it wouldn't be worth putting you through that because what exactly would it achieve?
I know this is hard sweetie and maybe when you are ready you might be able to speak to your foster mum about it and ask her these questions.
If you need anything feel free to pm me.
Take care of yourself love
xx
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
Sweetie, I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes it can be unplesant to remember horrible things that have happened in the past, but what you've got to remember is it's in the PAST. I don't know why your foster mum didn't help. Though, I think you should talk to your therapist about remembering these things, maybe he/she could help you work through this? Take care, hun. We're always here. xx
Like Katy said, perhaps your foster mum hasnt spoken about it to you before because she wasnt sure if you remembered anything happening, and didnt want to talk to make you aware of it if you werent already.
I hope the therapy helps you to sort things out in your mind, it might be worth talking to your foster mum though, as she might be the only one that can bring you any kind of closure.
Didnt anyone around me care enough to stop it or to tell me
