Triggering (Suicide) - In shock

pixiedust · 13-03-2009, 03:07 AM

Sorry to post but I could really do with some support at the moment.

I'm in shock. Tonight I had to help save someone from a river. It was terrifying and I can't stop thinking about all the what ifs. We couldn't get him out. He was stuck. I can't believe he jumped in. We had 999 ready in our phones but didn't know the name of where we were. Thankfully a man walked past and helped but it was so scary. I can't stop thinking about what would've happened if we didn't run after him all those times. If he hadn't been able to swim to the side. If my friend hadn't managed to keep hold of his hand so he didn't go under. And I'm scared because it so easily could've been me. I've been having thoughts of jumping off the motorway bridge (wouldn't do it sober) but it's made me realise how if I'd drunk a lot, I wouldn't have thought sensibly and I probably would've done it. I'm just so scared and in shock.

guiltyinnocence · 13-03-2009, 03:49 AM

*hugs*
im not surprised you're in shock tbh!
what-ifs are just that, what-ifs. they didnt happen. usually theyr just useless functions of your imagination. the things you're worrying about didnt happen. you've got to keep reminding yourself that what-ifs dont matter, they're not worth concentrating on. though i know its alot easier said than done
im around if you want someone to talk to
xxxx

pixiedust · 13-03-2009, 04:00 AM

Thanks. I'm just really shaken up. You never think these things are going to happen to you. You read them in the paper but they don't really sink in. The look in his eyes was horrible - you could tell he wanted to get out but he was stuck and it was so scary.

guiltyinnocence · 13-03-2009, 04:08 AM

yeh i can understand that. as you said its the kind of thing you never expect to experience. the shock you feeling is a natural reaction to your experience, but that doesnt make it any less scary i know.
be kind to yourself tonight...have a hot chocolate and watch a film or something to take your mind off it? or talk here about it if that would help? or pm me if you want?
xxxx

pixiedust · 13-03-2009, 04:10 AM

I'm thinking I should probably go to bed because it's late and I'm exhausted, I'm just scared of lying down and it playing through my mind. I might try and then if need be get up again and distract myself online. x

guiltyinnocence · 13-03-2009, 04:14 AM

yeh thats a wise idea, if it does play on your mind just get up again. but sleep is probably the best option at this hour after what you've been through
xxxx

~~Silver Wolf~~ · 13-03-2009, 04:35 AM

Wow hunn that must have been absolutely horrible. Sometimes when we see ourselves or someone else so close to death, it effects us like that. I felt the same way you did as I seen my step-dad get treated for a suicide attempt that was almost complete. It's terrifying but like guiltyinnocence said, completely normal. I hope you are doing ok, PM me anytime if you need to talk.

=)
*Hugs*

~~SW~~

squirrelspit · 13-03-2009, 05:41 PM

do you know what hospital the person was taken to or their name or anything? You could try going and visiting, talking to the person, sort of follow on their story instead of ending it there.

Sounds like you were very brave.. the what-ifs are irrelevant too cos they didnt happen.

Hope youre feeling a bit better today. Catch up with your friends today too and see how theyre doing too.

Take Care.
xx

Katiee · 14-03-2009, 01:26 AM

WOW, hun I can understand why you're in shock, I'd be as well. I think you should talk to somone about you're feeling. Take care, sweetie. x