I don't know how things got this bad, I really don't. Everything is just piling up on me. I've been having suicidal thoughts lately, and today I made a plan for them. I am scared, I called my boyfriend and my best friend and told them what I was thinking. It didn't seem to help though, I don't think they understand how serious I am. I just feel like a failure, I had stopped cutting for a month and then went and broke and done it. Then I started burning myself also so that added more guilt and pain. I just want all this to be over, I really do, but everytime I think about it, and think about how heart broken my boyfriend would be if I was to go through with it, I cry. But then I think well, maybe he won't miss me, maybe no one will. I don't know my head is all messed up right now and I can't think straight...I am sorry if this was pointless
~~SW~~
**~~When night falls on me, I'll not close my eyes, I'm to alive, and you're to strong~~**
**~~ If you feel alone, or just want someone to care, I will. PM ME and I will LISTEN~~**
I'm sorry that you're feeling so low at the moment, sweetheart. Do you know what's caused the suicidal thoughts? What kind of things are piling up on you?
I know it's hard to see that people care about us, but they do and I'm sure your boyfriend, best friend, and other people around you would be heartbroken if anything happened to you.
Thank-you. It's just everyday normal stuff that is piling up. Looking after the kids day after day, having to worry about a clean house, worrying about money. Also I just got through a hurtful relationship before I got with my boyfriend so I am constantly thinking about that too. These all seem like small problems to most people but they seem humungous to me. I just don't know how to cope, the cutting/burning isn't helping. I dunno...I plan on having a talk with my boyfriend later on tonight but the problem is, is that I don't know what to say...
~~SW~~
**~~When night falls on me, I'll not close my eyes, I'm to alive, and you're to strong~~**
**~~ If you feel alone, or just want someone to care, I will. PM ME and I will LISTEN~~**
I can understand how things like that can get you down, and don't worry if they're problems that won't necassarily affect other people - we're all different, after all.
Just tell him how you're feeling. I know that can be an incredibly difficult thing, but he could really provide you with the support you need. Perhaps you could try writing it down? I find that that's a good way of figuring out what to say.
Heyya,
I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time. *HUGS* People would miss you, hun, even if you don't think so. Can you talk to someone about how you're feeling? maybe someone who can help you solve these issues? Also, if you're not thinking straight it would be a good idea to talk to someone. As I used to be able to never think straight and my head was all over the place... until I talked to someone and I manged to get my head staight and things were much better to deal with. Take care hun. xx
Thank you guys so much. Here is an update. I did end up attempting it until I thought about my boyfriend and his kids and my mom and everyone on here, it made me stop. I talked to my boyfriend last night and I broke down in front of him. It was the biggest break down I had in a long long time. I told him about the thoughts and about trying it. He was supporting me and he even started to cry when he told me how much he loved me. I couldn't take it. I feel so guilty now because I feel I have failed everyone. I failed by starting to cut again, by adding burning to it, and by attempting suicide. Gggrrr...it just seems like everything got worse for me...
~~SW~~
**~~When night falls on me, I'll not close my eyes, I'm to alive, and you're to strong~~**
**~~ If you feel alone, or just want someone to care, I will. PM ME and I will LISTEN~~**
But you didnt commit suicide, maybe all of this gave you a wake up call, so everything hasnt gotten worse, you are just more aware of how you feel and the help you need.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
