I see a counsellor once every two weeks at my uni, the service is free and easily accessible, although I get the impression that it is in high demand from students. I initially went back to the counselling services after speaking to my department about work problems, and going to the Doc with stress, both referred me on to counselling services for CBT.
Now, it is early days, but even so, I'm not seeing much progress I seem to still be subject to fluctuations in my state of mind which are still over riding my attempts to keep on track. It didn't help that, at my last appointment, the counsellor came out to the waiting room, and asked someone else if they were me. That's a little thing, I can't expect her to remember my face after only a few appointments, but still, it makes things mildly awkward, it isn't something I can explain.
The thing is that I know I'm a capable student, I'm averaging a first on my course, but at the same time, I feel as though my mental health jeopardises my whole degree. I have barely left my bed today, and I'm supposed to be essay writing, this means gathering up the books in my room, returning some to the library and paying off the fines I have accumulated through not leaving the house. The highlight of my week was going to the supermarket yesterday, simply because I got to interact with people, like when I couldn't reach something on the shelf and some random guy came up and helped, and then the cashier speaking to me as I made my purchases, it was simple stuff like that which made me smile, but those feelings were far too transient, and by the time I'd finished carrying the food back to my house in the rain, I was exhausted and went back to bed.
In any case, the counselling doesn't seem to have done anything for me so far, after my last appointment I attempted to draw out a week plan in order to try an keep myself doing things, but in the end I didn't do any of it. If anything, things are getting worse, and that just seems to make it all the more difficult to turn things around.
hey
i really relate to what you're saying both about interaction and CBT. i didn't find it particularly helpful. maybe you could work on the specific things that keep you from getting work done/leaving the house?
i decided to just focus on social anxieties with my counseller- how to interact with people without panicking and the focus helped me get more out of the sessions.
you could also try just giving yourself something little to do each day, rather than planning all your time. give yourself 1 task, like to return library books and then tick it off when it's done. it can give you some small sense of achievement and you might find you get more done as well as that one task once you're up and about.
try not to beat yourself up about your degree, you're doing the best you can and that's all you can do, remember that your health is far more important than getting a first.
take care
*hugs*
there are free counselling serices in almost every area. Its all a case of seeking them out. Good places to look for the leaflets etc. are notice boards, in local churches and at the library. You could also google them.
Also, I found that when I joined some groups (church drama group and art group for me) that helped me to get out and see more people. Which in turn helped my mood. I dont know what youre doing at uni, but maybe if you could spare some time that could help you too.
I really do hope that things get easier for you.
If theres anything I can help with please don't hesitate to PM me :)
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"Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here, to the castle beyond the goblin city, for my will is as strong as yours and my kindom is great."
Heyya,
Sometimes counselling seems like it doesn't do anything or have any effect but it will after a while you might feel a bit better and like you're getting something out of it? It took me months before I felt that I was getting something outta it I was getting something outta it - I was finding out why I felt like I did, why I was doing the things I was doing ect. It helped me get my head/thoughts staright.
It's good you drew up a plan of what you were going to do - even if you didn't do any of it. Try setting yourself small tasks everyday and see how you are with that? Sorry I don't have much advice or anything. Hope you feel better soon xx
I've already changed counsellors once, and it is coming up to essay deadlines, if I get another reassessment at this point it may screw up getting mitigations, I don't like using the mitigation process, but last term I had to apply for extensions, because, basically, I had a break down which led to me not doing any work until I only had a week left. I'm aware that I might need to do this again.
Supposedly, it is an anxiety thing, but I am very wary off seeking help, and even when I do I understate what is going on, this means that on the tick box forms I never give any indication of SI or suicidal thoughts etc. because I don't want to talk about them. On my first counselling appointment before I went for reassessment I ticked something and got asked about it, I ended up speaking about self harm and it made me feel really uncomfortable. I changed counsellor because the previous one made me uncomfortable by using my birth name (techniquely I have three different names) and I couldn't pronounce her name properly which made me feel intimidated every time I tried to book an appointment. The thing with my names is that I have one on my birth certificate (I never use this) one which I have been called most of my life, and one which I chose myself (I'm transgender) I did not disclose my trans issues to my first counsellor.
I did disclose these issues when getting a reassessment and I had a bit of a connection with the guy who was doing the reassessment, I left the appointment smiling to myself, because it had been useful, but when I booked up a new appointement I was assigned to the woman I'm seeing currently, which, whilst nice, doesn't seem to be helpful. She just skirts around calling me by name at all, which is mildly amusing, but considering how much effort it took me to write that I was trans on my form, the whole thing seems like an anti climax.
Random radio ___________This spiral
Static on tv ____________Has worn a groove so deep
Losing count of _________Can’t climb out
All the days and weeks ___Pathetic, painful need
sorry about the double post, I've just got back from another appointment, it seemed to help in that I was in a better mood at the end of it, and have some idea of what I can do to try and sort things out. I think I'll just have to stick with it and see where things go. I'm still not confident enough to be entirely open with my counsellor, and, in the long run, I'm not sure if the uni can actually provide the kind of support I'm needing right now, but I'm not giving up on it just yet.
Random radio ___________This spiral
Static on tv ____________Has worn a groove so deep
Losing count of _________Can’t climb out
All the days and weeks ___Pathetic, painful need
Good ^^ don't give up on it just yet. Sometimes we're not ready for something such as this, other times we need to give it a chance. As you say it is early days yet and from personal experience it does get better. You and your councellor need to get to know each other first before they start suggesting things to do. I expect they are finding out your background history first so they can piece it all together. Once that is done im sure techniques can be used to help you further, so please don't give up now.
If you want to drop me a pm i can go further into this
xx
