so, ok. just honest question. is it normal that i have been suicidal to some degree since 5th grade? (approximately age 10, 11ish)
even when i've been doing better with my depression and/or borderline personality disorder, it's still there, in the back of my mind.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : si/suicide trigger
i mean, hell, the only reason i started cutting 5 years ago was because i was "practicing" to see if i actually had the courage to kill myself it since then has morphed into other things but...yeah
anyways...just wondering if others feel this way, or if it's even possible to not feel this way. i'm not saying that i'm actively suicidal at the moment. it's just...i dunno...frustrating.
Well yes and no, Mostly I would say people who are that young or younger have been triggered by something to cause them to feel depressed.
Maybe the suicidal thoughts are a little less common in people that young but I wouldn't say rare.
As for your question If it's possible to not feel this way, yes. At least I belive so. I'd advise you to go and see a doctor and tell them how you feel, they will be able to help you (Only if you are ready).
In my mind suicide isn't really an option, well it is.. But it's most certainly not the right one. I understand how you feel but once you take the first step I think it gets a little easier.
Anyway, this is pretty long. Sorry.
Just make sure you're honest and open with the doctor once you're ready. I think what slowed down my process was the fact that I decided to hide certain things, and well it's just common sense really. If you want to be helped you don't hide the problem.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you :)
I have to remind myself that some birds just aren't meant to be caged.
Their feathers are just too bright.
And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up rejoices.
Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty when they're gone.
I think the only way to get rid of the thoughts is to get help. If you are doing better with your depression, the suicidal thoughts are an indication that they're better but not better enough (If that makes sense 0.o)
I'm sort of in the same position as you, so PM me whenever. xx
Well yes and no, Mostly I would say people who are that young or younger have been triggered by something to cause them to feel depressed.
Maybe the suicidal thoughts are a little less common in people that young but I wouldn't say rare.
As for your question If it's possible to not feel this way, yes. At least I belive so. I'd advise you to go and see a doctor and tell them how you feel, they will be able to help you (Only if you are ready).
In my mind suicide isn't really an option, well it is.. But it's most certainly not the right one. I understand how you feel but once you take the first step I think it gets a little easier.
Anyway, this is pretty long. Sorry.
Just make sure you're honest and open with the doctor once you're ready. I think what slowed down my process was the fact that I decided to hide certain things, and well it's just common sense really. If you want to be helped you don't hide the problem.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you :)
i have both a counselor and a psychiatrist. my counselor knows exactly how i feel, and i'm able to call her anytime it starts to be more than just a passive thought in the back of my mind.
the psychiatrist i'm not as open with, because he is through my school. when i first started seeing him, i made a comment about how i was feeling regarding suicidal thoughts, and i was given the option of living at home or going to the hospital, even though i wasn't actively suicidal. since then i've been sort of honest, he knows everything except the suicidal stuff. (ex, si, sleeping a lot, how my relationships w/people are failing, how this is having an effect on my job, etc)
it's just frustrating. like i can't even imagine a day when it's not there in the back of my mind. blah...
Heyya.
I can sorta understand where you're coming from. *HUGS*
I mean I've felt like I'm not suppose to belong here since I was 9/10 but not actually suicidal. I think it can be normal if you have depression, yes.
Even when I'm doing better, it's still their in my mind... but that's another story. xx
I get what you mean because i always have to have a plan in the back of my mind as a way out of life, just incase..it doesnt mean im gonna nesecarily act on it but i just need it or i feel like i will act on it if that makes sense? but i dont think its normal..and i wish i didnt think this way!
