do ya'll find it easier for you to stop if you don't count how many days it's been since the last time you si'd?
it seems as though its easier for me. i haven't paid attention to the dates or put any pressure on myself to stop and it's been 2 weeks already. doesn't sound like a long time, but it sure as hell feels like it lol.
Hehe. I think your reasoning makes a lot of sense. That way you are not constantly stressing over making a certain amount of days and keeping it in your mind. Two weeks is quite a while! Congrats on getting this far. :)
I think it's easier not to count the days. For me, it just made me not think about it or have it as even an option. It's been about 4-5 months since i've last cut. I think counting the days just keeps your mind so fixed on it that if you do cut, you let yourself down a lot.
but its different for everybody. counting could give people motivation to keep going.
I try and remember the date that I stopped, or mark it somewhere, so if I want to know, I can check, but I don't count day-by-day, just once in awhile (Like today I figured out that it's day 16 for me!)
I've tried stopping before while counting days and always slipped up a lot more. I'm trying to stop now and haven't counted and so far I think it's been about a week to a week and a half, longest I've ever gone I think.
I don't think I ever would have decided not to count, but there was a thread about this or similar a while ago and somebody said on it that the didn't count because (I can't remember the exact words but it was sometihng like)
Everyday you count is another day that it's in your life so you can't just move on.
I thought they had a really good point and it's really helped my recovery.
I think whatever works for you is best though, I think some people prefer to count because it gives them sometihng to aim for.
I've never tried to count but the date I stopped was also the day something really fantastic happened that changed my life so that will always be the date I stopped (if I do manage to keep it up).
But, no, I don't think it is a good idea to count the days. Maybe weeks/months. But days just makes it harder. I did do it in the past (unfortunately, I failed on those attempts) but it just put me under more pressure. Then when I did do it again it made me feel like crap. Whereas the times where I didn't count the days I wasn't sure how long it had been so when I did it again those times I wasn't as angry at myself (if that makes sense).
Think it's probably different for everyone though. Some people might think counting the days is better for them because it motivates you more I suppose. And it can give you something to aim for I guess.
But for me personally counting the days didn't help at all, just made me feel really stressed about it.
Well done for being 2 weeks free though, that's really brilliant :) Keep it up! *hugs*
its been 10 weeks and 5 days for me and i cant help but keep track. it does motivate me, but at the same time im always thinking about it, and it gets incredibly hard not to give in. but im going strong! (fingers crossed)
~nemisis
"I wasn't anything before, except different. But now it's like I'm different, but with a vengeance." - Rockets Redglare
i'm really proud of everyone who's managed to stop, counting the days or not. if not counting the days helps you, then i'm glad you've figured that out!
i think not counting does really help me too. and i love that quote .ghost. it's so true.
of course, the day after i wrote this post, i ****ed up. though i don't think it had anything to do with counting. i didn't think 'its been too long' or anything, like i usually do. i think i was just overwhelmed. and okey, i think i just processed here, so thanks ;op
I agree counting the days makes you focus on it a lot more then when you don't. I only counted the months. It usually seems to work better..it did for me anyways.
Good Luck & Stay Safe
<3Shortie
The real is very real to him, the unreal even more so. ~Mignon McLaughlin
I tend to think of it in terms of weeks/months - not exact numbers of days. I know the last date I SIed, and that's enough for me to keep track of things if I want to.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
I've never counted, I find if I don't count, or even think about how longs it been, I don't dwell on it.
As soon as I think about how longs its been, I feel like I need to do it.
I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms wondering what I gotta do, Or who I’m supposed to be.
I don’t want to be anything other than me
I don't count, I used to, and I have a date that I know I quit cutting, I celebrate my anniversaries, but I don't count the days. For some counting makes it easier for some it makes it harder, its just finding which is better for each individual.
xx
Nicole
"Even if hard work and determination doesn't pay off immediatly, it will ALWAYS pay off EVENTUALLY"
i do not count and never have. it makes me way too anxious.
i do have a general idea of when i quit. and now i have over a month.
i believe it depends on the individual and whatever works for you, by all means, do it.
much love.
xx
I really don't care much at all about how many days it has been for me, personally. I come from the "quality not quantity" school of recovery. I know that my last SI session was sometime between Christmas 2005 and New Years 2006, but it's never mattered to me the exact number of days, I've been too busy living the life of a free man to care.
There are a lot of people that are helped by counting the days, though. It's my opinion (and this isn't anything that I could produce proof of, it's just an opinion) that when a person is ready to stop, they will stop whether they are counting days or not; for me to stay permanently abstinent of SI, it took a heck of a lot more than just thinking about how long I'd been behaving myself.
i find it easier to count (though months not days) but sometimes i forget. starting out though, i found it easier to count so i could pull myself through another day, make myself stay free just one more day. after a while though, i just stopped counting because it didnt matter much any more.
The real is very real to him, the unreal even more so. ~Mignon McLaughlin
