ack help =/

[-Stewie-]

mixed feelings and an awkward situation here.

i introduced a friend of mine to my bf, and a couple days later he added him on facebook. then one night we were in uni computer rooms late messing about on net (as you do) and my friend (unknown to me) was looking through my bfs profile, like past comments and stuff. and he came across a few pages of comments from his ex (as in my bfs) and showed me them. i wasnt comfortable and didnt want to be reading them but i still did. i have no idea why?

since then ive felt really bad for my bf. and not too great for myself either- cos obviously reading everything was hard. hard thinking of him with someone else and hard having to read the bit where it ended cos of the thoughts of what he must have been going through.

i havent told him directly that i know. i mentioned i was upset just thinking about how he must have been hurt in the past and he told me that the past is the past and hes dealt with it and hes happy with me now. and i can honestly say im happy too. and everything is going just fine.

but my friend keeps bringing it up- he even managed to find out the exs contact details and is planning on getting him back for hurting my bf. i dont want to know about this, but at the same time i do because then i can like say no dont do that etc.

i know my friend just cares about us- about me being upset for having read it and about my bf being upset in the first place. and im guessing he feels like **** for finding it and showing it me without thinking and wants to make it up somehow.

but theres nothing to make up. getting back at this guy for hurting my bf isnt going to make me feel any better. in fact i would feel like total **** having to keep something like that from him.

but at the same time, even though everything is fine between us i still feel i need to tell my bf what i saw. its probably not a smart move. theres no need for it if both of us are happy. i dont want to drag up anything for him. i just feel rubbish for keeping this from him cos even if its in the past its still his life and id hate it if hed gone prying around my past (even though it wasnt actually me doing the prying just the reading- does that count as me having pried as well for not feeling i could say no i dont want to read this?)

at any rate whatever i do about the whole thing its going to affect the way i am around him with all this going through my head. can someone please help me or even just reassure me that either its ok to tell him if it bothers me or that its ok not to tell him and be happy hes happy now and that im happy?

=/

[Lou Lou]

I think if you want to tell him the truth you should. Tell him that someone showed you old facebook comments and you read them out of curiosity. Tell him you feel uncomfortable for doing it, I'm sure he will understand.

At the end of the day Facebook is a public social network and quite frankly it's not prying as much as just being a bit nosey.

Tell your friend you don't want to mention it anymore, you don't want to take action against this ex - that would just make for a very bad situation. xx

[-Stewie-]

i told my friend + he understands.

if i told him he'd know which friend showed me. and we're getting a house together next year (am at uni btw) and id hate for bf to say he doesnt want to live with us anymore next year cos of my friend =/ (theres a group of us its not just me + bf + friend that would be weird)

on one hand i want to tell him
on the other i think it would be selfish to drag it up for him just so i feel better

[brom100]

Just my opinion but it sounds to me like your friend is waaaaay too involved in your relationship. Why would he pry into your bf's past then share it with you. Why would he offer to go sort out the bf's ex? Isn't that over and done with now? You and your BF should just move forward and be happy together, and set some clear boundaries for your friend about what is acceptable / not acceptable in your relationship.