Triggering (Suicide) - cant cope

[minnie]

I had my review at 10 this morning at my flat, there were 5 people in the review as well as myself, there was not enough seats for everyone
My social worker asked me is everything alright and I said yes and my keyworker said no not everythings alright you have rung the oncall number and texted me several times
My keyworker from the day centre bought up a couple of things like I am low in mood, that I bought tablets last week because I had had enough
My social worker said about the haloperidol I am taking and I said I wasnt taking it everynight and she said thats why I have been precribed the haloperidol to take away the voices at night time so she asked me if I was on 10mg or 15mg and I said I was only on 2mg and she said that shes going to have a word with the psych to see if it can be increased
She said that I would be better off with an increase in the haloperidol than having diazepam or sleeping tablets
I feel so suicidal I cant cope anymore with the voices
so I will find out on Thursday what happens with my medications

[Sigma]

I'm glad they're taking you seriously and trying to help - waiting must be tough when things are so difficult but try to hang on, is there anyone you can spend time with to help you get through the next few days?

[Tears of Solitude]

Keep fighting the voices, once they put up your meds hopefully the voices will lessen. xxx

You have a social worker and a keyworker can you contact them about how bad you are feeling right now.

If not keep on posting and talking, it can really distract you

Jade xxx

[~Grace~]

Im sorry things are so difficult for you right now
It sounds like you have people there to care for and look after you
Can you contact them for help if things get hard for you?

Please take care xx

[minnie]

Thanks for the replies

I will wait and see what happens on Thursday when I see my cpn and social worker
I am so scared going for my injection because its filled with poison I am slowly dying inside

[tamobhuuta]

hope it went ok at your appointment. i'm sure the injection isn't poisoned, they really are trying to help you

[minnie]

I tried to get out of having my injection but my cpn kept ringing and ringing till I answered my phone to tell me to go for the injection, I went but I wasnt happy with going, I am scared that I am slowly dying with all the poison inside of me

[tamobhuuta]

well done for going, even if you didn't want to. you're not dieing, i promise (though that probably doesn't mean much to you)

[minnie]

I am really struggling to cope, I dont know what to do

[~Grace~]

Is there anyone you can ring?...maybe the crisis team?
Im sorry things are so difficult for you.
Are there any meds that youve been prescribed that you can take to help alleviate the problem?

Keep posting and talking to us here if it helps.
Please take care xxx

[minnie]

I dont like to ring anyone because I am a burden to people and shouldnt be alive
The voices are telling me to kill people to stab them till they die and I am scared because I have been carrying a knife around with me for my own protection from others that are out to get me I have knots in my stomach wanting to hurt people and it scares me so much
stab stab stab they say and its god telling me to do it as god is my voice and hes my friend he says
I wasnt to sh so bad to get away from them

[tamobhuuta]

you're not a burden, i think that you should ring soemoen too and tell them about this. like grace said, the crisis line maybe?