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15-02-2009, 03:47 PM
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#1
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Irene
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Greece
I am currently:  
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im not addicted, but want again. *triggering*
I can't stop thinking about drugs. i want to take again. im not addicted, but i really want again. i know all the dangers and what can happen, but i can't stop thinking about it. im ready to go get again, but something holds me back. im desperate, i don't know what to do.
its one of the reasons that i want to die. because i can't stop wanting it and because i can't have it. i know its a very silly reason and that im very pathetic, because its a real problem and other people are addicted and can't stop and im thinking off taking again. how stupid i am.
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My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
pm me anytime
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15-02-2009, 05:54 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Greater Manchester
I am currently: 
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Hun, sorry to hear this. I understand, I really do. Sometimes I want to give into the urges re drink and diazepam because it is easier to do so than fight.
You're not stupid for feeling like this. It sometimes feels like it's one thing after another, if it's not sh, it's drugs, if it's not drugs or sh, then it's drink, if it's not one of them it's the ED. Having to fight all the time can be so draining.
Is there anyone you can talk about re this? Please don't get into drugs again hun, it will only make you feel worse.
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"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
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15-02-2009, 10:25 PM
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#3
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Irene
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Greece
I am currently:
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i have only my psychologist, but she only says that its bad. it will make me feel better at first, but then worse. but i still want them.
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My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
pm me anytime
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15-02-2009, 10:28 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Greater Manchester
I am currently:
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As much as this sounds patronising, your psychologist is right hun. I'm not judging you as I am struggling right now with diazepam. I have an illegal source but trying not to as I don't need that addiction on top of other things and neither do you. I do know how hard it is though. Is there anything else you can think of to distract yourself from this? Can you talk to your sister at all?
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"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
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15-02-2009, 10:50 PM
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#5
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Irene
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Greece
I am currently:
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my sister also begs me not to take again. when im not thinking about this, im thinking of other destructing things.
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My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
pm me anytime
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15-02-2009, 10:54 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Greater Manchester
I am currently:
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No useful advice but understand what it is like to have your mind overtaken by thoughts of self-destructive acts.
Please try your hardest to not go down this route hun.
*hugs*
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"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
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15-02-2009, 10:57 PM
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#7
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Irene
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Greece
I am currently:
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I won't take again, because im scared of the police, and i don't want to get addicted.
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My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
pm me anytime
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