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im lost. best friends? internet? Depression? Mental?
hi.
iv got one huge ass problem in my life.
when i was a little girl when i got the internet i started talking to this girl. we were like best friends and i never met her before. but when she got a boyfriend, she'd hate me if he was there or if she was ever with anyone. but i dont know .. there was something caring about her, which made me always want to talk to her.
she told me some things, i told her everything. she really was my best friend. this screen name.
the basics were true, her name, age, location. she did lie about a lot, then again so did i! a couple of years ago it gopt to a stage where i lied to her, just to talk to her.
she was so nice at the start really helpful and caring. she WANTED to talk to me! .. but then when i told her the truth, after her dragging it out of me, and saying that she wouldnt block me or that. she did.. she pretended it wasnt her and that she was high. then she blocked me. and hated me since then.
i met her. she was cool. still a lier! i was so scared. she never spoke to me for ages so one day i turned up. spoke to her for 2secs, then she sent me packing. then she wanted to meet me again. i did. that time it was worse. (afterwards) then she spoke to me 4months later in 2008. thats the last i spoke to her.
she added me on bebo. i havent accepted. i know whats she'd said behind my back.
she's made me phyically ill. mentaly depressed.
im so scared to talk to anyone about this. NO ONE in the world knows anything about this, apart from me and her.
its weird because she used to sit up hours on end talking to me. we'd talk about crap & serious stuff. i told her EVERYTHING. theres NOTHING she doesnt know about me. and now, it feels like she hates me. yet. i still dont hate her. sure she'd made me cry and want to die, but i dont hate her. sometimes i do but in general i dont.
i dont know what to do.
i feel so weird and stupid and .. i actually feel like thiers something mentaly wrong with me, and i dont know how i got like this.
i cry about it. i was reading over 2 conversations and i just want my life to end.
yet. i'd be so happy if she just came on msn right now and spoke to me.
..
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