Okay so I have it. And... For some people they cant seem to deal with it and get angry and frustrated. As for some general advice what can I tell them or if they see this how should be towards someone with social anxiety. Patience is an obvious but when people just get angry at how you are its extremely hard and makes me feel more pressured and distresses me alot...
Advice on dealing with someone with social anxiety ? Anyone Will be appreciated!
I'm wary of giving what is essentially shyness a term. It denotes to me that the person has a serious problem of which only a professional can help them with - just my opinon, now for the advice on how to overcome it:
Begin by slowly socialising yourself. See the people you are confortable with more to start with, preferably in a neutral public setting.
Try engaging strangers in short enquires, such as directions or small talk about the weather. The older the person you speak to the more likely you are to get a positive response (though it is unlikely you will get a rude response from such a simple enquiry). Try not to over think or hesitate, leave a time period of no more than 5 seconds between seeing a person and talking to them, this means you won't have time to get nervous and for approach anxiety to manifest. Just smile at them, then speak.
When you have progressed with this, ask friends to help. Get them to introduce you to one or two new people in a group setting with people you are comfortable with.
This is all I can think of right now, but I'll try to add to this later.
My question was more. How does someone without Social Anxiety act towards someone who is overcoming it. Though this was really helpful as I have Social Anxiety. Thank you also for the quick reply. I need some help on someone who doesnt have it, and how they should act.
To many people get frustrated at me and I dont know how to like make them know they have to be patient and remember I do get afraid.. of things they may think are simple activities.
x
Personally, though remember this is my opinion only, I think they should treat them like any other person.
Sometimes I find going out and being around people really hard, however if people made it easy on my by being understanding why I cancelled or chickened out, well then I could get worse and not go out ok.
I think it is ok for people to get frustrated with someone with social anxiety as it may give them the impetus to challenge their fears. And well it is frustrating for friends/family to get let down time and time again over meetings etc., people can't change how they feel. However obviously getting excessively angry isn't helpful either. Also people should recognise when you do manage to enter a social situation just how hard it is for you and congratulate you for managing to fight the fear.
I'm wary of giving what is essentially shyness a term.
Social anxiety and shyness are not the same. Social anxiety interferes with your life, productivity, friendships, etc, whereas "shyness" does not. If you're shy, chances are you're not fretting about negative evaluation to the degree that the socially anxious person is or avoiding simple things like ordering food at a restaurant, asking sales clerks for help, etc. Sorry, but that statement really bothers me because I have social anxiety too, and it's prevented me from doing a lot in my life.
When I was younger (and still to this day), my friends and family "enabled" my social anxiety, so to speak. EG: My mom would order food for me, ask for help in stores, etc, and my friends do similar things when we're out...I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it helps me feel less "in the spotlight," but at the same time, I feel silly that I can't do these things on my own and want to prove them wrong. So I guess I kind of agree with the statement "treat them like normal," but I would add that it's important for others without social anxiety to be sensitive of your fears. IE: Start small, and don't push it. If they don't understand/know what you're afraid of, tell them. (Though for me it's pretty obvious, lol.)
I know how you feel though, and I hate making people frustrated...Hell, I frustrate myself at times! The one thing I hate about social anxiety is that it makes me feel perpetually childlike...*sigh* I do have some friends that think anxiety "doesn't exist," so I would educate those around you that give off that vibe and let them know it's an actual disorder.
Sorry for the long response...I hope some of it could be helpful!
I agree with Asphyxia... as someone who knows people with, and also has Social Anxiety. The key in responses from both sides is to start small, my friends started by suggesting I go try place an order at the bar, with them in tow, then without and not being in any way critical if I couldn't or needed help.
For those that think 'anxiety' doesn't exist, sometimes it is about educating them, putting it in a way that makes a comparison to other forms of anxiety so they can make the link in their own minds. That, and explaining how it makes you feel... break the anxiety down into its component parts. It is not shyness at all, closer to a phobia if anything and with the additional conviction that there are negative thoughts about you added to the mix.
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Thank you again for the very quick and all very valid points. They have been really excellent and have been appreciated. -Asphyxia- I know what you mean by it being "allowed" as I very often had others doing the ordering of things knowing I was shy. I am slowly getting better just would like a bit more patience from some people. Thanks again *hugs* :)
Sorry I don't have any advice or anything, but I was reading this thread because I've been recently sort of diagnosed with social anxiety and have been trying to read up on it / get advice. They want me to join a social anxiety group and I'm terrified!
Last edited by ksdfjhlksajf : 17-02-2009 at 01:56 AM.
Reason: didn't spell a word right :(
Thank you for all of your help and support. I will no longer be coming to RYL. Semi-explanation will be inside my profile.
I think they would need to have professional help to help them overcome the social anxiety. I had it really bad a while ago, it's improved though. Don't actually know why thought. Take care xxx
I have social anxiety and although people don't actual know that I have a label, it's pretty obvious to them and I get treat like I literally am handicapped sometimes, like people talk FOR me, instead of making me do it for myself.
I think if I were you and I had a friend in the same situation I'd go to there house maybe once a week and go "Come on, we are going out" and just go for a walk and a talk.
Just a little interaction with another person can go along way! Then maybe slowly build it up, like go to the cinemas with a few more friends just little things.
I think I just repeated what everybody else said, but yeah. =]
~Beauty without intellence, is a materpiece painted on a napkin.~
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Will be appreciated!
The one thing I hate about social anxiety is that it makes me feel perpetually childlike...*sigh* I do have some friends that think anxiety "doesn't exist," so I would educate those around you that give off that vibe and let them know it's an actual disorder. 
