sometimes i just want to talk about my self harm, as much as it terrifies and upsets me when someone does ask, it's also kinda a rush. it's like, i almost want certain people to ask so i can share part of myself with them, so they can know me and understand better, i'd rather they know the truth than just assume, and in some ways i like telling them. i'm not going around talking to everyone, but i think it's a bit reassuring to me to have someone to confide in, one more person who i'm not constantly afraid is going to ask me at a bad time or when i'm not expecting it. and when friends of mine do know and ask me about how i'm doing, not always of course, but once in awhile, it feels good to have someone checking in on me, someone who know this is hard and i try to stop, but also knows that i might mess up and be hurting and hiding it. even if all i say to them is "i'm doing alright, i'm not over it completely, but i;m trying and most of the time things are improving for me."
i don't have friends here who know, i can't tell them, i have trouble asking someone for directions, but i'm almost dying to have someone ask, i know they know, my scars are bad, and i've hinted enough that the can figure things out, but still people are too polite or scared or maybe they really are clueless. sometimes i try to watch tv shows or movies with cutting, just to feel less alone, more connected, that there's someone who gets it. i come on here to post or read posts but still, i don't know what it is i have to say, i just want to talk about it. i want a human connections, i almost fantasize about someone touching my scars, looking at the, feeling them and knowing that this is hard for me, important for me, and a huge part of who i am.
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles" ~Charlie Chaplin
i feel like that too.
i think it's only natural to want to know that someone cares enough about you to know about your SI and still care about you and want to help, and not judge you on it
xx
Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you land among the stars
I know exactly how you feel, just thought I'd let you know you're not alone.
Sometimes a friend asks me if I'm ok and I say no, they ask whats wrong and I just start talking about the cutting and I just keep going. And I can tell they aren't really listening/ don't care cos they dont understand but I really need to get it off my chest sometimes.
Sometimes I wear short sleeves on purpose or roll up my sleeves cos I want someone to ask about the scars so I can say 'no I'm not alright please talk to me'. But they never ask :(
You can PM if you need someone to talk to. *hugs*
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know, right now you can't tell. But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Unwell - Matchbox 20
"Why inflict pain on oneself, when so many others are ready to save us the trouble?"
George Pacaud (1879 - 1937)
Sometimes I wear short sleeves on purpose or roll up my sleeves cos I want someone to ask about the scars so I can say 'no I'm not alright please talk to me'. But they never ask :(
this describes me perfectly
Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind.
To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse.
To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better.
what kills me is that i can't seem to just talk to anyone, i need them to start, to ask me questions, to give me direction, like even when i was in therapy, i'd be dying to say something and she's ask "is there anything you want to talk about" and i'd say "no" but the minute she asked something specific and i started talkign i'd end up juat rambling on to whatever it was i had been needing to say.
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles" ~Charlie Chaplin
Location: Im not really sure where i am...all i know is im still here
I am currently:
yeah i know how you mean..do you not wanna seem like..attention seeking and self obssesed..but when theres an open invitation it all comes out.. i think SHarmers have got such a reputation as being attention seekers that we're all scared to talk properly about it as we dont wana be judged like that.
hugs
pm me anytime
love xxx sarah
Dragonfly-my guardian angel
Except for a few small bruises, cuts and scars..well i'm fine...
Feel free to PM me...i'l always be here for anyone who needs someone to talk to. promise xxx <3
i enjoy talking about it aswell but know i shouldn't, i love writing about it aswell.
The feeling i get when i do it, everything.
Talking and writing it just brings it all back to me and somehow gives me a mini rush.
I'm really limited to who i can talk about it to though as no-one outside of here knows about it except my doctor and CPN and i feel bad talking about it here as i feel like i'm bringing people down with me
littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX
I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.
Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.
