I'm moving tomorrow and i'm so so scared, i'm trying to be positive and see it as a positive step but tbh i just want to shred my arm i'm that worked up about it.
What to do with myself tonight? Want to od but have to be up early in the morning. Every thought a self destructive one. Ones where i don't exist anymore, if only it were that easy!
I don't know whether i'll be able to come on here and post, which will be crap because it helps distract me so much.
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
good luck, i hope it goes well. i'd recommend not self harming - i did, before i went, and i spent my first evening there in A&E, which sucked. huge mistake. you don't need to do it - the rezzies will look after you.
what sorts of distractions do you like? maybe you could watch a DVD or go for a walk or go out for a bite to eat?
a year is a long time to think about, so just take it day-by-day. xxx
Thanks Laura, i'm just so nervous because i don't know what to expect when i get there.
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
you're welcome :) just take it slowly hun. lots of new residents think they have to be perfect and contribute from the word go, they hit the ground running. you don't need to - take your time. settle in to your new room and have a wander around - especially by the lovely little pond! if you like cats, you might meet our frequent visitor - Beauty/Stumpy.
It's so weird, I got discharged from hospital today and it's scary not having that safety net there. I feel so unsafe and there is no one I can call tonight. Just have to get through tonight I guess.
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
You made it through the past 2 weeks hun and that took incredible courage and strength. I am so excited about this new start for you and hope that Main House really helps you. Don't forget how amazing you are. Take care! *hugs and squishes*
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Just wanted to say thanks for all your kind word and support, really does mean a lot.
I got through this evening by being with my family. Just the night now then i'll be going first thing in the morning :S
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
I can't sleep because I'm so wound up about tomorrow and it sucks cos I have to be up early.
I ended up cutting but not too badly just have to try not to carry on doing it.
This night feels very long
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
I haven't slept all night, this is so bad i'm going to be zombified on my first day there. I'm so tired but so wound up at the same time.
It drives me mad cos I took extra meds last nite to make sure I got a good nite. And I just lay there tossing over and over.
I've given up now and I'm watching DVDs to try and distract myself.
I hate not sleeping!
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
Oh, here, have a great big bear hug from me. [[[HUG]]]
I have moved five times in the last year and a half, I know it can be super hard. But I bet you are super strong deep inside, I bet you can make it.
"I asked the sun to tell me about the big bang. The sun said 'It hurts to become.'" -- Andrea Gibson, I Sing The Body Electric Especially When My Power Is Out
Just wanted to say hi
This is so hard, I really want to come home. I never knew it would be so full on and draining.
Can't beleive I have to do a year of this
Hugs xxx
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
It is bound to be draining at the moment as it is all so new and overwhelming. I bet everybody who goes there feels like that when they start there. Have you been introduced to the staff? Is there a routine on which you can focus on the next few days whilst you settle in?
*sending tonnes of hugs and squishes*
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
