Triggering (SI) - Hello?

[pancake]

Hi,

I am new to this, and a bit apprehensive. I haven't self harmed for over 3 years now. I am 29. when i was younger i had bulimia, i self harmed, i have had several periods of depression, and was addicted to laxatives for years. Now life is different but sometimes i am not. When i have had relapses of depression the SH has popped up and the eating problems are always there when i am stressed or depressed, but i manage everything.

The thing is sometimes i get tired of managing everything, and thats where i am now. I know its one of my warning signs to take better care of myself but i am finding that hard right now.

I am now in a position where i support teenagers with similar problems, and i love it but sometimes its hard. Right now the self harm stuff is on my mind all the time. I think i would be able to cope better if i could bridge the gap between the system i am in and the child i am working with but as much as i am trying i can't seem to get either side to understand each other. And i am so afraid to let anyone know thats its taking a toll on me.

Thats why i am here really i just wanted to tell someone without there being consequences cause i know I'll get through, i just need to talk about it.

[Mary Anne]

Hi pancake,

I admire you greatly for helping teenagers, that is a fantastic thing to do.

I don't think it is at all surprising that it is hard to seperate your own feelings from those of the person you are trying to help but that is how you can help them in a way that others can't - becuase you know exactly how they feel. And it is not surprising it is taking its toll on you, I imagine any caring profession is extremely hard.

Well done for coping with everything, I think most, if not everyone, in here will know how hard that is.

Sometimes I think it is best to admit to yourself that you are not coping, do you have anyone you could talk to? Other carers?

I'm always here if you want to chat

*offers hugs*

x

[pancake]

Thank's

If i talk to people at work though they go into risk management mode on me. they will send me to a different base or look at me with 'that' look and ask if i need time off etc, and if i tell my family they will panic and the friends i have now don't know that side of me and i enjoy that.

Its ok really, i just feel alone when it comes to this stuff. which i know sound stupid given my profession but. i am kind of inside and outside and nowhere sometimes. which i guess makes no sense. It'll pass again soon enough.

Its really nice to discover this place though, its the kids that explained the whole internet support world to me! crazy stuff.

[wildly insane]

Hi Pancake, that's what we're all here for, trying to cope, and especially when you're tired, so please post away and we will be here to listen and support as best we can. I have so much respect for you having dealt with so much and I hope that we can help now, hugs, Hannah

[ravynsoul]

Hi Pancake; nice to meet you. I hope you feel comfortable around here and post as much as you need/want to. It can be quite helpful to get it out. If you need anything, feel free to ask.

*offers hugs*