Triggering (SI) - Overreaction?

[TheHeroYouHate]

Well, My boyfriend and best friend have in my eyes completely screwed me over.
Basically he hates her, she hates him but yesterday she did something so so annoying.
This past week he's been having a go at me about my SI -i know its just because he cares but he keeps threatening to leave me which is just ruining my mind.
I don't actually SI a lot at all, well i punch things and bash my wrists but im talking about cutting.
I've probably done it about 15 times in the past year, yet he's saying i have a huge problem with it.
So yesterday we were sat in mcdonalds(classy!)and he started talking about it, saying he found a new blade in my room (he'd thrown the other one away that he found a few days ago), and i got upset and walked out because i said i didnt want to discuss it in a public place and he was like 'i dont care'.
but she was still sat there with him and they were talking about me (something i completely despise anyway) and basically he asked her if i'd ever cut deep and she said yes.
I NEVER HAVE.
and it's not fair because he believes her over me due to the fact that i can never be sure of my own memory because of psychosis type stuff.
But i know that i'm right on this one - aside from anything else, i have NO raised scars or anything.
I think i may be overreacting but i feel like they've both betrayed me and to be honest i think they secretly like each other seeing as shes' just like me but prettier and mentally healthy.
=[
/I don't know why im posting this i just needed to say it somewhere and obviously couldnt talk to the two people im closest to!
Sorry.

[Lucius.]

You didn't overreact at all. What your friend said was inappropriate and wrong of her.

Also, your boyfriend may well care about you, but I feel he's going the wrong way in trying to help you with your SI. You need help and support, not threats. Have you explained to them about how you feel about what she said and how he's been acting?

I wish you the best of luck, angel *cuddles*

[TheHeroYouHate]

The thing is, she's always known i do it but agreed with me that its probably the least of my problems.
What he doesnt understand is that by forcing me to stop, the urges will be worse and i'll have less control and probably end up injuring myself badly, whereas at the moment i do it pretty lightly.
I'm just confused as to why it's suddenly a problem now, seeing as i used to do it every day and now rarely do it.
I have to see her today and i'll probably end up hitting her if she says one thing wrong to me.
And I have to live with the boyfriend!
SO.
Argh.
I don't know what to do,I can't stop myself from feeling angry and just depressed about this whole thing.
Thankyou for replying :)

[Lucius.]

You need to explain that to him. If he's making you feel worse, it's counterproductive, which is something I doubt either of you want. Perhaps he's terrfied you will start again and so he's trying to make sure you don't?

I don't think violence will make you feel better in the long run, to be honest. I recommend having a quiet word about how you feel upset about what she said yesterday

[TheHeroYouHate]

I have explained it to him, I guess you have to have done it to understand though.
Oh I know, but i would feel sooo good and she would forgive me.


This is ridiculous i hate my personality.
its broken i want a new one,

[Lucius.]

You don't have a broken personality, sweetheart. Your personality makes you who you are. Everyone has aspects of their personality they dislike, me included, but you've just got to try and concentrate on the positive.

I hope you and your friend work out your differences because it sounds like you need a lot of support, right now.

*cuddles*

[TheHeroYouHate]

She admitted that she was wrong but then he said 'i dont care anymore about it'
SO CONFUSED!!