so when i was little my brother fondled me and such but i wasnt against it but i was confused and didnt know what was going on really,now that i look back i feel rather ashamed about it, it didnt happen a ton, and the weird thing is now that we are older were like best friends idk,he told me a year ago that the he was molested when he was little by the neighbor,could that be why he did what he did, im so confused was i molested?
we are not men, we are shadows in the shapes of men. -liquide ocelot- mgs4
i'm sorry... :( *hugs* yes i think he did molest you, but how old was he? it sounds like bad things happened to him and he acted out on what he knew. that's actually fairly common in children. so if he was very very young, i don't think he can really be blamed but rather the person who did it to him. HOWEVER, that does not mean you don't have the right to be upset, disturbed, or need to talk about it/deal with it. it was traumatic to you, whether he was to blame or not. there was speculation (that i'm not sure is true) that a kid who was about 7 did something similar to me when i was about 3, cause i thought i remembered it and after i said something we found he had been violently raped by someone at a very young age. if i had decided i really thought it was true (still not sure, decided not to worry about it since i don't know), i of course couldn't blame him... he was 7 how would he know it was wrong, he was just copying what had happened... however, that didn't mean i couldn't talk about it or that i couldn't accept the fact that it bothered me. it's one of those things that it's not either of your fault, it's the adult that you never came in contact with... however, if he was much older he should've known better. if that's the case it's up to you how to deal with it... has he ever talked about it? anyway hope you realize your feelings about it aren't insignificant even if he was too young to be accountable for it.
*hugs* Those feelings can be confusing, esp since you're not sure what went on. Generally it's abuse if you were scared, in pain and/or asked for it to stop and he didn't. Lots of times little kids touch each other and look at each others' private parts out of curiosity. And if it was about the time of the abuse he went through, it's very possible that's why he did it, because he knew there was something to being touched "down there".
hmm i'm not sure. A LOT of kids like to explore & experiment from a very young age about the opposite sex's body, and i think that is completley normal. to be honest he was probably just doing what he had "learned" from his own abuse & maybe didn't consider it to be something out of the ordinary & almost definitely i think didn't mean to hurt you or take advantage of you.
saying that though, if you feel like it has greatly affected you then it is best to talk about & get it all out in the open so you can try and get past it. it is better than keeping it all inside.
i know he didnt mean to hurt me, but i do think he acted on what happend to him and it really jacks me up that my brother molested me cuz someone molested him
we are not men, we are shadows in the shapes of men. -liquide ocelot- mgs4
Yeah I guess because of what happened to him and because you were both so young he can't have really been able to compehend his actions but that doesn't lessen how you feel in anyway because you have every right to be upset and angry about what happened to you both because it was very wrong.
Take care of yourself love and feel free to pm me if you need anything
xx
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
yeah don't look at it as whether what he did was wrong. he was obviously very young. look at it as it was something bad that happened and you have a right to deal with it, even if it isn't his fault... focus on processing it, not on whether it's valid or anyone's fault. it's valid no matter what.
