trying...

Merc · 28-01-2009, 05:41 AM

to quit drinking , that is.
Tonight
so far?
Hmmm...not enjoying it.
Know a few more hours/tomorrow will NOT be pleasant.
BUT, since moving down here, eight years ago, i have drank everyday/night except for IP and i quit once for a month many years ago.
Thought of a rehab place....might still as i'm off benzos now. THAT was not fun either :\ But i am 3 months free of them and it hasn't been tooooo hard. Still want them tho....
Just, i'm only stopping drinking because i have gained weight off an AP that i have decided to stop. ( i will need to go on another on tho). I just can't stand this weight anymore.
I am heading back into dangerous places tho. I went thru ana for over a year and was lucky to get out of it. Albeit with a plate in my shoulder now as i fainted and compound broke it being so slim. But i am going to try the 'no-drinking' route first. I hope it works. i KNOW how bad it is to restrict for days on end, but dammit, it works! Yes, i'm still needing a kick in the arse apparently. There is hope tho; we are buying a treadmill and if i do quit drinking with exercise on top of it maybe i wont go the other way.
I hope not
but i MUST have this weight off. It is affecting me too much. It really is. I have never been overweight and never ever weighed THIS MUCH in my whole life; i just hate it so much.
I'm sorry...don't mind me
*shutting up*
romp

Merc · 28-01-2009, 06:06 AM

might as well add it all right?
I'm 3 months SI free, yay for me. Getting a tat done to cover the latest scars so that is good, they look dreadful.
Also we are going tomorrow to get a prescription for quitting smoking.
So, lets see....
1)quit drinking
2)lose weight
3)quit smoking
and i'm actually attempting it all at once. Stupid. But there will always be a 'reason' (read 'excuse' lol) NOT to quit so what the hell...
I have stopped seeing my psych, but amicably. I can go back whenever but i'd rather not. I dont have anything to talk about anymore it seems. Well, its alot to with having to start all over with someone, i just cant see digging thru everything all over again you know? I dont WANT to talk to anyone like that right now, so i will leave it awhile. I guess i know its the fact that i dont feel comfortable with him and never will. But to start searching again??? No...no thanks.
I don't even know how i feel....'nothing' would be the best description i suppose. I'm just...nothing.
romp

wildly insane · 28-01-2009, 10:18 AM

Hey good luck. Are you going cold turkey on the alcohol? because I find it quite useful to make a goal, like reduce to 2 days alcohol free a week and then gradually increase it, apparently girls give up better by doing it gradually and guys give up better by going cold turkey.

3 months is fantastic well done :)

*hugs* Hannah

Pomegranate · 28-01-2009, 09:07 PM

I think you are doing really well Romp! I get you are concerned but it seems to me like you have a really good attitude towards all this atm. You aren't 'nothing' either. I think you are really brave. I hope you start to feel better soon. Sorry for useless post, but thinking of you xx

dark_light · 28-01-2009, 11:08 PM

Hey good luck with it all, think you are very strong to be able to tackle all those things at once! And wow 3 months!
What kind of tattoo are you getting? I really want another one but can't decide what to get/

Casper_Fading · 28-01-2009, 11:34 PM

hey honey, good luck with it!

Love you lots and lots

your nnsbjb

ravynsoul · 29-01-2009, 01:37 AM

Good luck with it! Keep us updated; and ask if you need support at all.

I too am curious about your tattoo design :) I'm hoping to get one soon.

*Hugs*

Tears of Solitude · 29-01-2009, 01:42 PM

Rompy, Sweetheart

Im sooooo proud of you for going 3 months, here's to the next 3 months. I know you can do it. YAY !!!!

I wish you all the luck in the world, and if you need me Ill be there always.

Love ya
Jade xxx

Rain Keeper · 29-01-2009, 03:56 PM

i still love you

Merc · 30-01-2009, 01:10 AM

thank you everyone! you are all so wonderful, thanks.
Well...i didnt do so great; i drank the last two night...but only 2 each night and last night i dumped the third down the sink. So they are gone. Hmmm...we'll see how tonight is.
We looked into the prescription for quitting smoking and we cant do the treadmill and it; so treadmill wins this month.
The tat is a cirlce with a sun, moon on opposite edges and three stars in the middle, with the middle colored blue for the sky. It signifies my hubby; he gives me the sun, moon and stars!
I will post a pic when i get it done.
Love you guys too, very much :o)
romp