First appt with psych- how to keep calm?

[Alegria]

So the therapist I've been seeing at school has referred me to see a psych.

I don't quite know when the appointment will be yet due to some paperwork being looked at, but I should know by tomorrow and it should be within a week.

And honestly... I'm freaking out.

The whole feel of the offices scares me to death. They have these huge, imposing doors splitting off half of the hallway and they look as though they are meant to keep someone in or out. In reality, they are probably just fire doors or something. But they scare me, as does the doctor's office/hospital smell.

I'm scared to admit of having SU feelings. Scared to admit that I've had ED ish behaviors in the past and have restricted on and off (currently off, if that makes a difference).

I'm also scared to be weighed and have blood drawn. Being weighed... I can't. I've gained weight, this I am sure of. As for having blood drawn.. is this something that is typically done? I haven't needed to have it done in over ten years, and my one experience with it (when I was like, eight) was incredibly painful and horrible.

My boyfriend is usually the one who supports me, but he's abroad currently and I've got nobody to stay with me and hold my hand. I've just transferred to a new college last semester and due to the way I've been feeling I haven't been able to make any new friends.

So... how can I stay calm before the appointment? And how can I make myself go (I'm worried I'll just panic last minute and just not show)? Also, will he/she ask about everything, or will I have to volunteer information on my own..? Will they want to draw blood?

thanks everyone.

[whirlpools]

i'm not too sure hun. i think it's different in the US from the UK - i think in the US there is more medical work done, but i don't think seeing a psychiatrist as an outpatient in either country means you need bloodwork doing. i know that i've never had to have my bloods taken as an outpatient. when i have been going into hospital as an inpatient or a day patient i have had my bloods taken, it's never bothered me, just something they did as standard, so i never objected, but if i had refused they never would have forced me, they'd just have discussed my concerns about it with me. it's scary having your blood taken when you're little, and i know it probably won't help me saying this, but it's never hurt me as an adult - in fact, it's kinda fun and interesting! but you could always ask for numbing cream if you think it'd help. this is assuming you'll need bloods taking, which i feel you probably won't.

you're also only really likely to be weighed if you have a lot of issues with eating. but again, you can say no, and discuss your fears. i am having trouble with eating at the moment and my psychiatrist asked to weigh me and i said no. other times, i've let them weigh me as long as they didn't tell me, and i didn't look. so they knew, but i didn't, so i didn't get triggered by it.

i understand the fear of the doors. i used to be scared of corridors and doors and bright lights and all those hospital-y things that make you think "wow, i'm f*cked up, this is a psych. unit". but it's really not that bad once you realise that all you're there to do is have a chat, and that lots and lots of people need psychiatric support and only a very few of them are very ill, and you're unlikely to come across them. they say that one in four people in their lives will have problems with their mental health! fortunately too, most psychiatric places don't have that horrible clinic-y smell. one of my old ones had toys and pretty pictures all over the pink walls, and great big bay windows (that was a children's clinic!) and another (an adult one) had rainbows painted all over the walls and handprints that the residents had done.

i recommend, to stay calm, if you can take someone with you (maybe a family member, if this would not be traumatic for you) that would be helpful, but if not, take some objects that feel safe to you, and some music to listen to, or a Nintendo DS if you've got one - anything that relaxes you. know where you're going to go and get a cup of coffee afterwards if you want one - allow yourself a treat and some comfort. arrange to ring your boyfriend at a certain time afterwards so you have him to talk to.

also try writing down any issues on a piece of paper before you go, so if you panic or forget or feel lost for words, you can just look at the list. or write your psych. a letter you can give him/her if you feel you can't describe things as well verbally as you'd like to. usually they ask most of the questions but if you feel anything's been missed, you can check your list.

sorry i rambled - i hope it all goes well. xxx

[inblack]

One thing I've noticed is most of the time things are never as scary as we make them out to be. Try to not think about it and worry about it when the time comes. I know thats a lot easier said than done.

Its okay when you get there to tell them you're scared. As for drawing blood and weighing I don't know if that is typically done. What I do know is you have every right to refuse having these things done. If it makes you really uncomfortable then just say you don't want it done. If its necessary it can still be done at a later time. Theres no reason for anyone to rush you into that.

As for admitting your feelings, know that it is safe to do so. I think its important for your psych to know about your SU feelings and ED behaviors. As long as you don't plan to act on your feelings it should be alright.

Maybe try writing in a journal when you're feeling scared about the up coming appointment? I have an assessment coming up in 2 weeks and I am also really freaking out but I've been writing a bit and it helps. Also coming onto the forums may help. Bring a fidget toy to the appointment? I wish I had better advice, I go through the same things but I don't know many strategies that help.

[Alegria]

whirlpools-
thanks, it's really reassuring to hear that. :) I don't really have trouble with eating right now, but I have before (as in, within the past few months). Although I'm thin just due to genetics, not any ed behaviors, so I'm just worried that I'll mention these ed thoughts and they'll assume it's worse than it really is.

rainbows? that is pretty awesome :) this one is just at my school's health center and it has pretty much no decoration- perhaps that's why I find it scary. It's not even like it's an inpatient place, they're just doctor's offices, basically, but the doors scare the crap out of me. So I guess I'll just try not to look at them.

Unfortunately all my family lives an hour away and I really never got around to making friends around here. I'll probably try and bring this bear my boyfriend gave me, just so it's sort of like he's there.

Thanks for the idea of the list- I'll definitely use it!

inblack-
thanks, it's really good to know that I don't have to consent to things that make me feel uncomfortable. I'm 19 and still kind of in this mentality that I'm a child and can't refuse anything.

good luck at your assessment and thanks so much, you've really helped :)

[Alegria]

hey,
for anyone following this, I had my appointment this past thursday. did wind up getting weighed, and they did draw blood but neither was as upsetting as I thought it would be. I got put on lexapro and haven't had too many weird side effects so far.
thanks again :)