asking for help? *long*

[Life and Lies]

people in school have started to notice that I display a lot of OCD tendancies, like ordering things, repeating behaviour, and repeated handwashing etc. At home, my parents know that I have to line food up before I can eat it, and do it in colour order and stuff, and that I have to do stuff in order, but they treat it as a joke, laughing, telling me I'm gonna end up OCD if I'm not careful.

In my psych class the other day, I was lining my pencils up, and the teacher noticed and started asking questions, but then stopped, saying she wasnt supposed to analyse in class. All the kids started saying I had OCD.

The one thing Ive never told anyone about is the thoughts or the counting. Its all I can think about. I get unbelieveably paranoid about people watching me, following me and talking about me. I'm so worried that Im going to hurt someone, trip them up or something, or push them in front of a car. I can't walk near things at eye level in case they go in my eyes. And if I start walking on my left foot, I take 13 steps, stop, then start again with my right foot, for another 13.

The other thing is I find walking hard, because I am so scared my ankle will go over or break spontaneously. I know its stupid, but I can feel them weakening. I cant bear anything to touch my wrists or ankles, its like an itch or something.

Its starting to affect my life. My skin is sore from washing in dettol, my head is filled with thoughts I cant get away from. I need help, but I dont know how to explain to my parents that this is serious. I dont want to let them down. What do I say to them?

[-Asphyxia-]

Admitting you need help doesn't mean you are weak, and it shouldn't let you parents down. In fact, it's *brave* to ask for help. What if you started the conversation with something that they know you already do...EG: "Mom and dad, you know how I always have to do XYZ this way? Well, it's more than that, and I find that it interferes with my life/productivity/etc." Know what I mean? If they don't think OCD is "legit," look online for some info and print it off for them so they can be more informed.

Sorry about the kids at school - people can be rude, especially concerning things they don't understand. I know how annoying/terrible excessive intrusive thoughts can be too...I think OCD gets a bad rap - as if it's not "that bad," you know? But it can become a real problem. I know for me, it made me drastically less productive at school...

I hope things work out for you, and keep us posted!

Take care.

*hugs*

[Life and Lies]

thanks :)

im soo scared of what people are gonna say, they already think i'm attention seeking half the time

[teenytineytori]

i know it is hard to not worry about what people will say but people who care about you and who are informed about OCD are not going to be rude to you. the people who say anything negative or make fun of you probably do not know you very well and are also ignorant of the true implications of OCD. I know I have alot of things that are idiosyncratic and sometimes they can interfere with my life. And people say that I am OCD even my bf does and it is a loving kind of jab. He doesn't mean anything by it and we are able to laugh about it.

I think that telling your parents is a good idea. It sounds like you are truly having a hard time concentrating on anything besides the compulsions. And because your parents already are aware of some of your behavior it may make it easier. Many times people make jokes because they are worried about the truth. Maybe them saying those things is because they already know but love you very much and know if it is true that you will have a harder time in life and they want the best for you.

sorry if i rambled