I kind of need some help and support, I feel so lonely and shit to be honest. I spent two hours last night crying because the only thing I wanted to do was cut and I had promised someone I wouldn't so I cried myself to sleep instead. I don't know what to do any more. I feel so isolated and like there is no one who would actually care whether I lived or not. People ask me if I'm ok, I say yes I'm fine but I'm not, not really. All I want to do is cut, OD, or just get rid of the hate towards myself in some way. I'm scared I will lose my friends again, I did last time and I swear my best friend couldn't give a fuck any more. My closest girl mates have given up on me as well, they hardly see me any more and if they do it's never for too long. My whole world is crashing before me and I can't handle it, I can't cope. I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm a month free from cutting and hoping I stay free, I just wish I could know for sure how bad I'm going to get before I get better.
On Tuesday I have my first student services meeting at college and I'm scared of what they will say or do, that they will tell my tutor, will they think it's unsafe for me to work with the children until I'm better. I'm so confused and frustrated and it just feels like there's nothing to live for.
Hunni... first of all *hugs*
I for one would care if you died!!
Well done on the month free, thats realy good!!
I know exactly how you feel about losing your friends, I lost a lot of mine, in a very short period of time.
I cant tell you how long it will be before things to start to look up, I felt like that not that long ago. Sometimes you feel like complete sh*t and then will feel better, only yo feel worse again.
But I can tell it will get better, and things will be easier, I just cant tell you when.
Are you getting any professional support at the moment?? Is there anyoe you can talk to between now and Tuesday?
You say you have your first students services meeting on Tuesday, they are generally pretty good, and will see what they can do to help.
I dont know how much that will help..but hope it does!
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
Thanks and no my doctor told me to go to college councelling instead of her getting me help, and i can talk to my mate or my tutor tomorrow but I don't know what to do i guess.
Thanks Kerry x
B-S-F You did help thank you :) x
Last edited by over and out : 25-01-2009 at 05:43 PM.
Don't worry about student services, it's not going to be scary, if anything it will be really helpful. I can understand why you're worried,but see it as an opportunity for things to get better, instead of something you approach with dread.
xxx
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
