Triggering (SI) - not gonan make it

[thefabulous]

basicly i dont think i'm gonna make it thru the night
iv been planning to cut liek all day
iv been aboiut to relapse since probs wed
or earlier
i havnt cut with tools in over a month
but iv still scratched at my arms/hands/fingers
about twice marjorly sonce i last use da tool
i made a one month bracelet but iv reptty well chated myself by wearing it cuz i'm stil scratching
i dotn think i'm gonna make it till tmo with out cutting
all day i'v been plannign where i can cut and be able to hide it and still appear normal so yeaa
i'm almost sorta thinking to just stop tryign to take cutting outta my life compltealy and if i need to cut... do it...
yea i know it's totally backward from what iv been workign too
i donno if i'm gonna make it tonight.. i'm probs gonna go to bed soonish....
adn tahts when id happen...
of course me being me . iv been playign wth safty pins all day, i hav one on me at all times
yea..
startign to ramble, gonna shuddup now

[green.eyes]

*hugs*
hope you got through ok.
take care

[Popple]

*cuddles*
How are you feeling now?
Hope your alright sweetie
Its hard but things can get better
Take care of yourself
xx

[thefabulous]

made it last night
but i'm changin my 'policy' on quitting this
instead of saying to myself 'you can NEVER cut again'
i'm gonna go with
if you need to, do it. but if the need isnt that great i just wont
and so far today it's worked i havtn really doen anything
but i guess that window is open to me.. i may nto take that option
haha thats my best description.. probs doesnt work that well in type but it wroks in my brain

and atm i'm fine =)