Triggering (SI/OD) - Psychotherapy Questionnaire *trig sui also*

[ThinkingofRecovery]

Sorry for another post (which is also posted in the mh discussion thread).

I've finally received the questionnaire from the psychotherapy place I am being referred to. I'm not sure about one of the questions though and wondered if perhaps you could review my suggested answer:

PRESENT PROBLEM: Please describe your problems and how they affect your current life.

I’m not entirely sure what you mean by “problems” but maybe the difficulties I am currently experiencing (and have done for some time) may qualify? I feel/think that in the past couple of years , I’ve gone from being a strong, capable, determined person with drive and ambition to just nothing, someone who needn’t be here. I wake up every morning feeling sick (and sometimes am), purely and simply because of the realisation that I am expected to face/fight another day. A day which requires me to fight to even get out of bed and out of the house to work – which I used to enjoy but no longer cope with. I don’t understand why it is that I am expected to fight, to live; even if I was happy, I don’t get why I should live. I do so, I suppose because society deems it wrong to commit suicide, to allow oneself peace. I have changed from a person willing to try anything (eg commanding artillery in the TA and moving across the world by myself to work in LA) to someone who feels scared/anxious at the everyday prospect of being around people. I hear voices/people speak to me – some are vivid memories, another one criticise and comments on me and one of them is my sister’ husband. At time, they can be overwhelming and incredibly scary. I fight the thoughts of suicide on what sometimes feels like a constant basis. I feel as though my head is so full of things, that I can’t seem to grasp hold of them, that it is too full, too noisy. It’s a fight to motivate myself, which was never a problem in the past. It sounds silly but I feel confused. I don’t understand where the other “me” went, why it did, if it was real or whether this excuse for a person is the reality. I feel at times, just incredibly sad and hurt for no reason and at other times, just empty, just nothing, devoid of any will to carry on and guilty because of society’ view on suicide. I’ve been absent from work for lengthy period this past year when previously I was extremely reliable. It’s as if that person has “upped and left”.


It all sounds a bit lame and I am not sure if they count as "problems". I've mentioned the self harm etc in the question after re how you cope with the problems.

What do you reckon?

[ThinkingofRecovery]

A load of rubbish, yeah?

There are quite a few questions and I suppose I found the one above quite difficult as I don't know what could be considered a problem.

There's also one about what you expect the treatment to do and I don't know if my response to that sounds too confused.

Argh. I know I should just put it in the post and stop thinking about it (and at least then I won't have to keep changing the date re last self harmed ).

Sorry, I've been waiting to hear from them ages and apparently the assesment appointments are fairly soon after handing in the questionnaire. Now I'm quite scared at the prospect of them thinking I am silly and pathetic and not accepting me and then there goes that avenue of hope.

Feeling really jittery today, needing to cut. Have taken some diazepam but about to take some of my prn meds to try and calm and help with the urge. Sorry, just really nervous!!!!!!!!!!

[Stellata]

I'll have a proper read when I'm home.

[Pomegranate]

I never know how to answer those questions either but it sounds to me like you have given it a good go and it describes what you are experiencing very well. I think all the things you have mentioned count as 'problems'. If I were you, I would just send it because otherwise you will only pick at it.

[ThinkingofRecovery]

You're probably right, I should just end it as I always over-analyse things. Maybe I'll post it later - it will give me a reason to go out for a walk or another short jog.

Thanks

[ravynsoul]

I think you did a good job at answering the question. I find open-ended questions so hard to answer; but I think you explained yourself well; used concrete examples and described your emotions. I agree that you should probably just post it; as otherwise you'll keep thinking about it.

Take care!

[ThinkingofRecovery]

I've been out but not posted it. Why? I've been waiting to hear from them for ages and now I'm scared of posting it back to them. I think it's because that if they so "no", there's nowhere else to turn, no other hope. Argh. Stop being pathetic.

[Mary Anne]

Firstly, well done on posting it :)

I think you answered the question extremely well.

Have you been to psychotherapy before?
I went for about 2 years and when I started I had no idea what to expect and what would come out of it but here I went for an 'interview' rather than a written questionaire and that was only to weed out the dole bludgers who were faking it to get out of working, they will see you are a genuine case.

Please let us know how you get on, if you want to pm me please do.

x

[dark_light]

I think you answered it really well. It was comprehensive and described your problems well. When i filled mine out i was in hospital and so stressed that i basically just listed my problems and bunged it straight in the post so yeah, think yours is much better! You get a chance to explain it all at your assessment anyway, so try not to worry about it too much.
Post it and get the process of getting the help you do deserve so much started xx

[ThinkingofRecovery]

Thanks. Will try and post it tomorrow as there is a deadline by which they need to have it back. Tonight however, is great. Bouncing off the walls. Think I can do anything. Don't need them do I? Still might kiull myself but not in that weird low depressed way - woo hoo. Going to kill myself but happily.