Triggering (SI) - his 'DIY tattoo' (graphic)

thefabulous · 17-01-2009, 07:53 AM

i was in socials class yesterday and a guy who i dont really know buit do cuz he's in my class was tryign to give himself a 'tattoo'

so i was in class an looking arounf and i saw that he was carving into his arm with a pencil, so duh my first reaction is omg is he SI-ing??
but he kept doin it and i noticed it was formign a word
and tehn he was like showing it off to a feew friends
it said peace all in caps
and then he went over it with a pen
and was liek yea chekc it out i'm gonan hav a tattoo now it's cool!
yea
i got sooo triggered cuz of that
i donno why and yea

i also heard one of his friends sayin 'tahts just messed up'
and 'but your like cutting into your skin..'
yea i'm thinking it wasnt SI cuz he was showign it off
but like when i first saw him carvign into his arm A i wanted to do teh same an B wondered if he was SI-ing ot SI's and C was trying to check out arms for signs of it alllll being as descrete as possible for a class
yea

that reallllly triggered me
i made it thru tho so yea..
still nto really over trigered sorta constanly wantng to cut alot i donno probs cuz it's been a month
but yea

sorry now i'm just startin to ramble on
and sorry for any spelling/crappy typing.. my bad

Sometimes Crazy · 17-01-2009, 04:21 PM

If you're meaning you're a month free, well done for a start!

I can understand how this would've triggered you, especially if you were feeling a little vulnerable already. Do you think drawing on your arm in red ink or something similar would help to get this urge out of you?

How are you feeling now, love?

Popple · 17-01-2009, 05:16 PM

Well done on being a month free.
Im sorry you were in such an akward situation
Hope your alright sweetie
Take care of yourself
xx

thefabulous · 17-01-2009, 05:50 PM

i sat in class shaking to try and get rid of urges for the erst of the class
socials isreally one of my fave classes cuz iu havan awesome groupe of friends in it but i ended up getting sooo triggered that day
the night vefore that i had a huge urge and got iver it
tha last block of the day on the diy tattoo day i was really triggered and depressed
i end up getting really depressed or just feel crappy in certin classes from th e ppl in theclass (yea i know it's a little odd)
and i ended up scratching my had so hard, and now ivgot scabs...
i'm not really counting that as cutting cuz i didnt use any tools
yesterday was fairly ure free i guess and i hada reallygod friend over till about midnight.... i havnt told him about my SI yet but i really want to now..
yea
rambling sorry

sillyputty · 18-01-2009, 08:31 AM

katie! I can't believe some guy was doing that. I'm sorry you got triggered by that and um...the scratching is technically speaking, self-harm although it's not your fault because that guy triggered you. I'm sorry that happened and I hope you're ok.
Take care!

Target Dawn · 18-01-2009, 10:53 AM

I can understand how you feel. When I used to be at school (an alternative education school, after I left high school) there was a girl in my math class who was carving words into her hand with sizzors and I was really triggered and it was disturbing that everyone thought it was cool >_<
Also it's quite odd because you said you were trying to search this guys arm discretely for signs of SI and I was trying to do the same on this girl.