Rant - Falling ash within my brain

[silverfaerychild]

I feel like i am suffocating like i am slowly being shaped into a piece
of ash that only falls into this endless hole of dim lit wet damp place

and the only bright light is at the end and i never reach it no matter how long or far i fall....


All i wanna do is be silent say nothing not even a small sound

just be a figure in the crowd the one

no one knows bout till i move or emerge

yet if i do that i am bound to die a lonely horrible death and i dont want that

*sighs*

i got things going good for me

i got a b/f one i know who will love me

and i got a caring family and staff at my group home



but i dont get why i suddenly feel as if i have no control anymore


*sighs*

[PrincessVegeta_x]

Hey sweetie. I'm not really sure what to say here, but just wanted to let you know that I've read your thread and wanted to offer my support. Have you got anybody you could speak to about this? Maybe you could tell a member of staff in your group home how you are feeling? Or you could talk to me, tell me more?

One more question. You talked about control, and how you feel that you have none anymore. Is it important for you to be in control of your life? If so, I completely understand.

I'm always here to help, so you can PM me anytime.

Katie.
x

[silverfaerychild]

like with control

is like Etc...my weight

the way i feel

Etc...anger and others

i just feel the need to make sure i dont hit the XXX in weight or get to emotional its not pretty

[SecretMe]

Hey hon,

*gentle hugs*

I am so sorry you are having a tough time. I know that losing control and those issue you struggle with are really making a mess of things lately...

If you need to talk to me you know I am here. I will do all I can to be here for you. Tomorrow if you need to you can call me too.

Please take care. You're right you are loved and cared about...but sometimes that doesn't take away what you are struggling with... you need help with it...

What would help right now do you think?

Find me when you can ok?

Hold on tight....

~K~

[silverfaerychild]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecretMe

What would help right now do you think?

mostly nothing comes to mind besides writting a poem

but i have nothing that comes to mind that would makes sense

[falling tears]

HUGS!!!

Sorry that your feeling so numb and horrid!
Things can change!!! Please hold on to that... and hold on to that tiny bit of faith you have!!!
you can get there!!!
xxx
OoH and keep writing those poems, it is a good release.

i hope that there are people you can talk to!

Take care and feel free to pm me.

Jen x

[silverfaerychild]

thnks


i am trying .....but its so hard when i want so bad to have control back