Triggering (SI) - I feel like like i'm about to explode! Help me please.

[Smophy]

I really want to self harm. I feel so frustrated because i know if I do I'll have to cope with the dramatics from my boyfriend. I need to do it. I feel as though if I don't do it soon then the frustration is just going to build up even more and i'l do something really bad. I feel like i'm going insane, not just over this but in general. To escape from my world, to block out people, i have taken to drinking on the sneek and taking just a few too many painkillers to make me feel spaced out. I know how daft that is. If only i could hurt myself then i would feel much better and i could go back to normal. I know this isn't a question, its a prety useless statment really but im going crazy inside my head. I wish i could block out the thoughts, i really do.

[*Stars_above*]

breath hun,

its ok, are you trying to stop?

its good you came on here to talk about it, let it all out =) we are here to help you,

i think you do need to see someone like a doc, as drinking and taking painkillers is still as bad as Self Harm. do you have anyone you trust or could you see a doc?

you need to clam down and not think about it, maybe go for a walk or put some music on. wright it out.. or even get a red pen and mark your arms or where ever you feel the need to cut it wont feel the same but might let it out a bit without hurting you

take care,

PM if you need to talk XXX

[eyes.wide.open]

Im sorry your having a hard time :(
I know you feel you need to use the self harm or painkillers to escape, to take the edge off, but there are other things you could do !
Hang out with your boyfriend, im sure his dramatics are only his way of showing you that he really cares about you and doesnt want you to hurt yourself. It may seem like hes just being annoying but maybe you could talk to him and make him change from dramatic to supportive ?
Maybe you could take the edge off in a different way, like writing down everything that your feeling, playing with a pet, going for a long walk, taking a hot bath, squeezing ice cubes, screaming into a pillow, baking usually works for me too. ( then you have yummy treats to share with people)
I hope your feeling better soon

[mark1408]

i know how you feel, at lest you have someone that cares for you enough to stop you.
you're not going insane you're just stressed.
but lay off the drinking, a couple of beers or something when you're out with mates is ok, and the painkillers, they just f**k you up in the long run.

i feel like im going insane, i usually just destroy something ,like a bin or something, or just put on music and sing to yourself, or just find somewhere and scream until you run out of breath then scream some more.

anyway, hope you feel better soon

[Smophy]

I am feeling better now. Of course it will only be a matter of time till i feel the same again. I have tried all the suggestions to make me feel better in the past but they just don't work. Me feeling like this is not a knew thing but it is getting worse. I am trying to stop self harming but deep down i know i dont want to. I am only stoping for my boyfriend. I want to get help, go see the doctors, but i feel unworthy of their time because of the subject of the matter. thankyou tho for all your replies. I like being able to come on here and rant even if it doesn't make much sense. Thanx