OK. So I can get a supply from a family friend and got a few left that I brought back after Christmas. In the summer, my cpn was asking my psych re allowing me to have it to help reduce my sh but my psych put me on quetiapine instead. The quetiapine works in that it has reduced my impulsiveness etc but the diazepam just feels so much better. It is quicker and I actually feel myself calming down whereas it isn't like that with the Quetiapine. I know that psych wasn't wanting me to have it because I have a history of ODs and destructive behaviour and prob thought I would end up being dependent on it. They don't know that I have access to it. My question is, I'm not taking it every day or anything but is it still possible to become addicted to it because I know I can't afford to have to fight that also.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
My psych has had me on diazepam and lorazepam for the last year or so and now i have to take them everyday or i can't function. They help but are addictive and i do wish now that i wasn't so dependent on them. I have to come off them soon when i go to inpatient psychotherapy and i'm so scared about it.
So my advice i guess would be use them with caution and talk to your doctor about it if you can because they probably avoided prescribing them for a reason. Don't think i don't understand why you want to take them, i really do, i just now know the long term consequences of drugs like these.
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Diazepam is highly addictive and I would strongly suggest not taking medication which isn't prescribed for you.
Diazepam works extremely well, but after only a very short while taking it you will need more and more to achieve the same effect. Very quickly you could be addicted, and I've heard that benzodiazepine withdrawal is really, really unpleasant.
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Ok, so I needed it to be able to get out of the house to work today. That's no big deal, is it? Want it tonight. Want it on top of alcohol. Just want to use it really as a way to stop all the noise, lose some time, etc. I don't physically need it as such but oh boy are the urges quite strong.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Took it again this morning not because I needed to but because I craved that feeling of calm. It does work. I only take a small dose but think I need to up it as the feeling isn't as good as it was. I know it's a dangerous road to head down but the feeling of peace is something I rarely experience in life otherwise. The Quetiapine is good, don't get me wrong but in such a different way. Going to have to get some more diazepam. I won't do it for long, just to get me through this bad patch, maybe just til next month when I see my psych again.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
you know this isnt the best road to go down
i got stuck with taking a family members diazepam last year so i understand its hard
but u really need to ween urself off it, as has been said it is highly addictive
is there anyway you could talk to your dr about this?
I know, I really do but so low and it helps me to be able to be calm and not end up taking another OD,drinking too much, etc.
I'm not addicted and have nearly run out (although could get more). I don't think I need to tell my dr and if I do, he's only going to go and tell my cpn and psych and they think I'm difficult to cope with enough with the crises, sh, ODs, alcohol...
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
It's very possible to become psychologically addicted to the effects of Diazepam rather than becoming addicted to it physically.
Of course, Benzo's of ANY type are very addictive - but you do need to have them in large quantities on a regular basis to become addicted.
It's very possible you're psychologically addicted to them because of the way they make you feel - i.e. very calm, relaxed, sleepy. It calms the thoughts in your head down slightly, and you feel more able to continue with day to day activities.
I feel the same effects on Temazepam - but i'm on the highest dosage of it, and sadly starting to become immune to it. I'm only on it 3 nights a week and that was at a push - but they really do lose there effect after a while.
I'm not saying you AREN'T physically addicted, what i am saying though is when this lot runs out - leave it a while, see how you get on. If you start getting physical withdrawl symptoms (vomiting, diarrhea, sweats, shaking) you need to tell your GP asap.
Mentally you will struggle, because you have come to depend on them to get you through the day, so it will be tough going at first. But definatly see how you get on without them first before jumping to any conclusions on the addiction side of things (physically).
My doctor told me that Diazapam is highly addictive and so would only prescribe me a few at a time. I guess if the doctor said it, it must have an elimant of truth. I have loads left over, i really need too return them to the chemist.
Maybe it's worth seeing your doctor, as if you start getting withdrawral symptoms, you are certainly going too know about it. It wont help the way you feel much either.
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So, I was sat on my bedroom floor sorting through my handbag as my cpn was late - he always is. There on the floor something small and blue catches my eye - omg I have one left, where was it? It statted me thinking as I am going to my sister's this weekend and can get another supply. Want to, it was easier being able to just forget. Thought I had taken the rest of them when I took the od. Sorry, pointless post.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
This may sound harsh but uuhhmmm.... You crave these pills to be able to function. You take them without supervision and you do anything you can to make sure no one knows you're doing this. In all honesty, that sounds like you have a problem.....
Thanks I kinda understand where you are coming from because the hiding etc is what I used to do with alcohol and I have had to work hard at stopping it from being that. The thing is though, I haven't had them for a couple of weeks until that 1 yesterday. If I can go without, admittedly wishing I had them, can it still be considered a problem?
Just about to leave for my sister's house so will see how things go.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
so will soon see if can do without as it is a while til I could get some more.
