Right.
Basically the story is that I have done hardly any of my college work and because of this I have to sign a form promising to do it before I can send my UCAS form off.
It is here the problem lies.
I actually can't concentrate. I have no motivation and no creativity and every time I try to do it I sit for hours staring at a blank page untill I'm on the verge of tears and feel even more crap about it so give up completely.
I do have a psych but I don't have another appointment until feburary and am too scared to phone up and ask her for an earlier one. I also have this habit of not telling her everything. I've tried and tried but I can't open up completely. I think it's because of past things where I've opened up to people and they have gone deliberately behind my back to tell my parents about it.
I also stopped taking my meds about a month ago because I ran out and was too scared to call up the psych/GP to make an appointment to get my prescription re-filled.
College know none of this. They know I'd depressed (I think) but that's it.
I just need advice on how to tell college why I haven't done the work and weather to sign the form saying that I promise I will do it all because right now it dosen't seem liek I can do any of it.
The thing is I really need to get into uni. I actually need it so so so badly it's insane but if I can't do anything now how am I meant to do anything when I'm there?
Just looking for advice really.
Sorry it's a bit long winded.
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
That sounds like a really difficult situation. And I know how sucky lack of concentration is, in a similar situation with uni work at the moment. I think you're best bet is honesty. Could you arrange a GP appointment, go in and tell them the truth? Well at least as much of the truth as you can manage. That way she could write a note explaining to college that you are struggling to get your work done down to a medical condition. Basically they are not allowed to discriminate against you because of you're illness (which depression is), but they need to know that you are struggling to give you allowances for it.
Don't worry about how you will be at uni now, it's quite a way in the future and you do have a psychiatrist, so hopefully they'll find some meds/therapy that works for you. And if not, well there's a hell of a lot of support available at uni, I was even allowed a note-taker for one module because of the poor concentration caused by depression!
I know opening up about stuff to people is scary, but honestly think thats your best option.
Your right. I know you are.
The thing is I have a meeting at college tomorrow and have to sign the form tomorrow..
I guess I could try and open up more but everytime I do I just lose faith in myself and end up only telling half of it.
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
Sweetie i could have wrote that myself, i understand how frustrating it is.
I told my psych about it and he said just try and do 10/15 minutes of work and don't set an expectation of how much your gonna do, in that time whether you have written two words, a sentence, a paragraph etc. it doesn't matter how much you have done and then praise yourself for whatever you have done. And then build up the time as you start to feel more able to do the work and he said as time goes on you might think ohh i'm getting into this and go past the 15 mins.
x
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Obviously i understand you being scared/worried about telling them but im wondering what scares you most about it?i know its difficult but please try not to beat yourself up about this - it can be really hard to tell people things sometimes.
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
I don't know.
I guess it's cos when I went to the year head at school in year 10 (I was 16 so they shouldn't have told mother anything) and told her about SH and everything the first thing she did was pick up the phone to my mother when I she said she wouldn't. I trusted her not to but she deliberately went behind my back..
Now I'm socially retarded (Y)
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
I just wanted to say I know how you feel. I have a complete lack of motiviation due to depression and god knows what. I haven't been into college since half term began in mid-October.
I'm not sure what to suggest, is it too late to go back on what you've signed?
Hey, i know how you must feel. I have the same problem with uni.
I just try to do like small amounts at a time, maybe try writing for 10mins, or reading one page. Once i have done that i have a nice long break. It takes me heaps longer to complete things but they do get done in the end.
Hunny, i can completely understand how frustrating and difficult this must be for you. I really struggle with my concentration and motivation aswell.
College really does need to know what's going on. They might be able to put some support in place for you like having learning support or extended deadlines or just some leniancy. College know whats going on for me and they are fantastic at helping. They treat me the same as everyone else but they are aware that i find things difficult. If you think it would be difficult talking to someone face to face could you write them a letter, explaining that you desperately want to complete the work and go to uni but you are struggling with your mental health at the moment?
All the best sweetie, i'm always here if you want to talk
xx
The thing with problems like this is that the longer you leave it the worse it gets. I know when i was at uni i spent the first half of my first year living on the edge and then something dramatic happened which got me some help and understanding and then it was much better.
the thing is though not to let it get to the stage where something dramatic ends up happening! if you do not want to tell them everything you dont have to but you could tell them some of your issues. Like the fact your depression is pretty bad right now. If they know anyway then it wont be so bad. Explain about the fact you are seeing someone but that its a slow process etc etc. Colleges have provisions for this. They have extensions and extra help and councillors who are specifically trained in issues of people in your situation.
I know its hard. I really understand that but in the long run doing nothing will only end up with you getting nothing out of college and not being able to go to uni.
Writing a letter sounds like a good idea, or even a list of bullet points of things you want to talk about, if you dont manage to say what you want juust hand them the list and go from there.
What would be the ideal situation for you? WOuld an extension actually do you any good or will it just put off things even more? Maybe discuss the option of some extra help or even just some time in a room with someone while you do your work. either sitting at the back of another lesson or during a tutorial or something. that way you will be able to ask for help if you need it but wont be under massive amounts of pressure.
I might just print off the first post of this and give it to my tutor..
I don't know though... What if theres nothing they can do? What if it's just wasted and they don't give a crap about it?
I don't know..
I know if I do tell them I'll just get all worked up about it all and then nothing will happen and I'll be in the same situation but feel worse about it all...
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
well the other option is for your psych to send them a letter. i know when i was at uni the uni councillor wrote a letter outlining my difficulties so my tutor could try and get me mitigating circumstances. it worked too. they can send it straight to the college so you wont have to worry about taking it anywhere.
I'm not seeing my psych until feburary because my appointment got changed and I was too scared to phone up and say that it was bad for it to be changed :/
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
If you don't go to uni this year then there is always next year. And if you choose to do that then you'll have a less stressful time. I agree that the college should know how you are feeling and how much you are struggling with things.
As for doing work. Take things slowly and one step at a time. If you need to do five minutes work then take a ten minute break, do so. I do it, and it's the only way I can get things done.
Have you considered letting someone else do the talking for you? Wether that be your GP, psych or even a college friend. Perhaps if a friend could prime the teachers first with what you are going to say and get their initial reaction you could then make an informed decision over wether to try talk to them or not. That way someone could come along and support you whilst you tried to do the talking aswell.
I know I'm repeating myself slightly.But I do hope you manage to get it sorted. It's not your fault you're struggling with the work and you deserve to have some extra time/support with it. But I do understand how difficult it is to make that initial step and inform people.
I hope you find some way of sorting it out
xxx
