Can I have some support please?

[SnowBerrySnuffles]

My boyfriend's Step-Grandad died this morning. That doesn't make him that close to me. I know him. Not that well but I know him. Well... knew him. We knew it was going to happen. but I can't stop crying. Feeling sad. It's not like we were close or anything...

I've been at home for the festive period. I have to go back to Spain to carry on with my year abroad, but I'm struggling to see the positives of going back. I've been with my boyfriend now for just over two years, and I don't want to leave him again. I miss everyone so much. I was told that it would be hard to go back after Christmas, but I didn't realise how hard.

Happy New Year... No.

Why is life so hard? I don't want to feel sad all the time anymore...

[crazykat]

I'm sorry for your loss, I think its always hard to lose someone no matter how close you are or not. Its ok to feel sad, give yourself time to grieve and be gentle with yourself.

Its understandable you are feeling hesitant about going back as right now you have the people around you that care. How much longer will you be spending it spain? Maybe before you go you could do something special with your boyfriend so you can carry that memory with you while you are away.

Just take things one day at a time and you will get there. I believe you will get there, so don't give up hope sweetheart. You can do this. Take care
Kat xxx

[ravynsoul]

*offers hugs* I want to echo Kat - losing someone is often hard and allowing yourself to grieve is important.. try to find someway to allow yourself to feel sad and grieve, it will likely help in the long run [i'm speaking from personally experience here]

I can imagine that it would be hard to go back on exchange. I went on exchange and although I never went home during it, I had some friends from home visit and when they left I found myself being quite homesick... but the thing is it does get better. You'll get back into routine of school and seeing exchange friends and that should help.. it may not be easy, but you'll get there.

Only look as far in advance as you need too.. one moment one day at a time.

[SnowBerrySnuffles]

And now my boyfriend's Great Grandma has died... I can't even be with my boyfriend to support him.

I just feel so so so sad. It won't go away...

[Cazki]

Im very sorry for your losses, i know its very hard but we are all here for you, its really important that you look after yourself, that your gentle with yourself and also that you allow yourself to grieve. Im thinking of you.

Take care Ian

[Mary Anne]

So sorry to hear about your losses *offers cuddles*

Allow yourself to grieve, the loss of anybody that you know is hard and your pain is magnified by having to leave your boyf at this difficult time and watching soemone you care for grieve for family is not easy.

Take care of yourself.

x

[Yellow]

*snuggles you close*
im so sorry. it seems like these type things come all at once and it is so overwhelming. i wish i had words for you.

*more snuggles*
much love.
xxxxxxxxxx

[ravynsoul]

How are you feeling now? *offers more hugs*

[SnowBerrySnuffles]

Erm... I have good hours and bad. Haha. If that makes sense.
I'm back in Spain now. It's hard. I have to study. I have a project to do, but I can't seem to get down and do it. I dunno. I hate thinking, but it's all I seem to do.
I'm just confused. I don't think I have the right to grieve. I didn't know them that well. I dunno. Why am I sad about it? I didn't know them that well!!! I just dunno. I'm confused, stressed, angry, tired and just wanna go home. But I can't.

Thank you for all the replies! It's nice to know people are there for me. Sorry for taking up your time people. But thank you xx

[Living Dead Girl]

you are not taking up anyones time, post as much as you need to! xxx

[SnowBerrySnuffles]

Thank you.

:)

I dunno.. I just don't know what to think anymore. I don't want to think. I hate thinking. Can anyone get rid of the ability to think? I hate it. I hate stress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate this.
I have no right to do any of this..