i hate change

[Fakesmile]

im sorry. i just had to get this out of my system. i hate change. it sucks. for starters, my sister is an alcoholic. she's been an alcoholic for about 12 years, since she was 14, that i know of. but it's getting worse. about a year and a half ago she rolled her car over while driving drunk. and she came home for christmas this year and her personality has changed. she has become mean and self-centered and i just don't like her anymore. not that we were ever that close but we got along and she is my sister. now i can't stand her. everything was about her and no matter what you said it was like she thought you were attacking her. i just don't like her anymore.

then there's my best friend. we've been best friends for 9 years. we met in college. after the '99-'00 school year when we met we haven't seen each other much cause she didn't come back to school and maybe 6 or 7 years ago she moved to colorado. we haven't seen each other at all in 5 years.

but the distance never seemed to matter. we were always as close as ever. we talked to each other about anything and everything. we talked at least 3 or 4 times a week for like 2 hours at a time. and i could always count on her to talk to. she was the only person who knew the real me. but something has changed. i haven't had a real conversation with her since dec. 15th and she doesn't even respond to my text messages anymore. when we do talk she is usually at her apartment where she lives with her boyfriend and he harasses her like tickling and stuff and she sounds like she loves it but i hate it cause we can never actually talk cause he is always interupting.

i feel like we are drifting apart and i don't know if i can handle that. she is the best friend i have ever had. she has always been there for me and listens when i need to talk. i have called her so many times feeling suicidal and she would listen and offer support. plus she is my only friend. i can't lose her. i just can't.

sorry i just had to let that out.

[ravynsoul]

*Offers Hugs*

I'm sorry to hear about the major changes you're experiencing right now. I hate change too and the disruption it brings.

About your friend, what if you emailed her your concerns and asked what was up that way? Do you think that might help? Then she can't be distracted by her bf.

Also don't apologize for letting that out.. I hope that by talking about it you feel somewhat better. Please feel free to talk on here.

Take care!

[Kahlia1981]

*offers hugs and a listening ear/reading eye*

I'm going to have to echo Ravyn on the email idea ?? Is it a possibility ??

[teenytineytori]

i am sorry that you are hving a hard time dealing with the changes. I agree with the email idea. letting her know that you sometimes need one-on-one time even if it is over the phone is perfectly acceptable. I also worry thought that she is your only friend. I don't know the whole situation surrounding everything but just make sure you are not isolating yourself.

as for your sister. i am truly sorry. alcoholics escalate in their behavior. and it sounds like she is doing so. having an addication is a very self centered mindset and until she is prepared to face the addiction head on it is best to distance yourself from her. she needs to face her demons on her own when she is ready. I really am sorry. i live with my alcoholic mom and it sucks. she is very selfish and can be mean and manipulative. try not to take it personally it is the nature of the addiction.

change does happen all the time. but sometimes change can be good. maybe having to email your friend will change the relationship for the better and help you to voice your needs in future situations. maybe your sister's attitude at the moment will allow you to not take things to heart you cannot control. and i am sure there have been good changes in your life as well. change is hard to deal with.. just keep on trucking. be safe. take care. hugs