I don't really know why I'm posting. I guess I just need to hear other's opinions.
Okay. So. I have major depression and generalised anxiety disorder(including social anxiety, which is mostly under control). I am in treatment at the moment but it's early stages and i'm not doing great.
My boyfriend of 9 months also has social anxiety and isn't in treatment. He's going to but...he keeps puting it off, which I understand. I know he has to do it for himself and he will when he's ready.
My question for all of you is...do you think a relationship can work if both people are mentally ill? Does it become too much about 'saving eachother'? My boyfriend always ends up spending so much time looking after me and keeping me safe lately because I'm very unstable at the moment. I feel so guilty about it. Be he's what is making me hold on, which i know isn't fair on him.
We fight a lot and have almost broken up twice in the last few months because of both of our insecurities and because I think he would be better off without me.
Also, is it healthy for either of us to be in this relationship? He makes me question myself (in a good way) a lot and sometimes it's a lot for me to handle.
Anyway, I'll stop rambling. I'd like to hear some opinions.
it is difficult when you are both mentally ill. but also it can help keep you both going, knowing you can understand a bit about each other is going through. it can become two much, does your boyfriend talk to you about how he is feeling? if so do you get triggered easily? does your boyfriend get triggered easily, when you tell your boyfriend about how your feeling? i think there is a lot of advantages.
take care xxx
Last edited by Louise : 29-12-2008 at 10:04 PM.
“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”
In my own relationship we both have our own but different mental health problems. In some ways it helps because we can be supportive and understanding in ways someone who hasn't had similar experiences might find hard. On the other hand it is difficult when we are both having a hard time simultaneously.
It depends on whether yu are both working at your problems and trying to improve things, then it can be very healthy, but if one or other of you is in a place where you are on a downward spiral I guess that could bring the other one down too.
I would say it can work, yes. Especially if at least one of you is in treatment.
Both my parents had untreated undiagnosed mental illness, and, yes, things were rough when dad was really ill, but they're still together 41 years later, and their relationship is much more stable now.
My Mum has clinical depression and I have paranoid schizophrenia.
Our relationship is symbiotic; my Mum looks after me (by helping me ignore the Voices and telling me when something I believe is a delusion etc) and I look after her (by hugging her tight when she's down and helping her with her chores if she doesn't have the energy to do them etc).
I believe that because our relationship is like this, our relationship is stronger as a result.
My Mum has saved me many times and I have saved her many times.
So yes, a relationship between two people with mental illness can work.
Besides, I have quite a few mentally ill friends.
Last edited by Steel Maiden : 29-12-2008 at 08:13 PM.
Reason: additional
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I think that it has the potential to work, but you have to be very careful that one or the other of you doesn't drag the other down.
I had a relationship with someone who self harmed on and off and I couldn't make it work no matter how hard I tried. But that doesn't mean to say it won't.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I would say yes it can. I've been in a relationship for two years with my girlfriend who has cyclothymic disorder, and me, well, I don't stick around long enough for a diagnoses, the nearest I got to a diagnoses is "possibley some form of depressive illness" and "some form of anxiety". And the anxiety one is inaccurate now anyway, but we've been together two years, and yeah it gets hard when we both have a bad time simultaneously, but we're so close, we give each other something to live for, and we know each other so well, we help each other well.
