Triggering (SI) - Is it bad to not want to stop?

[Jaeger]

For a while now I've been trying to stop cutting- the longest I went was 29 days. I always thought I needed to stop. Like...I just had to, because it feels like everyone who SIs is trying to recover. I know they're all not, but it seems like it sometimes.

What if someone didn't want to stop? Is that bad? I mean sure, I could list a few reasons to, but they're not for me, I just feel bad when my best friend discovers I've cut again. And I feel really bad because I'm hurting her as well, but that's all.

Argh. I don't know. I do want to stop sometimes. Not right now. I just can't think straight.

[CoffinNail]

Hey. I understand what you're saying. I've gone through periods where I didn't want to recover, didn't think it was worth it....whatever. I'm kinda in that frame of mind right now actually. I don't think it's bad at all. Personally, I think it's ultimately just something some people have to get through to get to recovery. It's really hard to go any length of time without SI, so 29 days is really good. It's a good place to start. You just have to remember to always try to pull on that strength from the times that you have stopped for awhile in the past.

If you wanna talk, my PM box is always open. =]

[ash<3mcr]

i go in and out of phases like that, you cant stop unless you want to, it wont last, but still 29 days is really good, you should be proud

[Mariposa]

I understand what you mean. I kind of feel the same way. I want to stop because everyone else wants me to, but not really because I want to myself. I am always wishing that it would be okay for me to use this as my coping mechanism and still be able to have my life without losing people because of it or hurting people.

[-Shae-Lynn*]

There isn't anything wrong with not wanting to stop. It just means that you aren't ready yet, that you haven't found better coping mechanisms yet. I'm sure that one day you will want to stop and that's great, but it takes longer for some people. What you could maybe focusing on instead is trying to be more safe (hurting yourself less badly when you do) or try to find something else to do when you feel like hurting yourself. Try to figure out the reasons behind why you are hurting yourself for sure because when yoou are ready, it'll make it easier for you to stop.
Good luck buddy :)

[Serene]

Oh wow, I posted a thread like this once. Everyone gave me the same answers as always. No, it's not bad, I promise you that. Everyone has there own time when they want to actually stop.

I did. Just like recovery, wanting to stop takes time. You can't just quit on a whim or because everyone else is. Cutting, for a lot of people, is the one thing that's always been there, what's they've always turned to.

It's going to be a little while until you're ready to give that up. Until then, just be careful.

[Only Distraction]

The only way you'll stop and stay 'clean' is if you stop for yourself and no one else.
I hope you realise from the replies that you are not alone.
Take care x