Holidays!

[TheHeroYouHate]

So, my boyfriend really wants me to go to spain with him at easter to see his mum, who lives out there.
He has even said that if my anxiety is too bad i can take my mum with me too to make it better.
I am completely terrified.
On one hand i don't want to let him down and also i worry that he doesnt fully understand and will think its to do with him, or his mum (who i have said things against in the past due to her treating him badly/saying ridiculous things) but it really isnt!I go from hating people to loving them instantly anyway.
But I really cannot do this.
I want to so badly, I want to go to spain and get drunk.
But I just cant handle holidays at all, the last one i went on was to chicago and that was about 3 years ago, before my parents split up, and my hair fell out badly and i felt ill for weeks leading up to it due to anxiety.
Is there anyone else who has this problem with holidays, and is there a way to conquer it?
I do have a fear of flying, but its not just that, i feel constantly uneasy when i'm away from home.
I think it is a fear of not being able to escape from situations if i need to.
Any advice or anything really would be appreciated.

[camikaysen]

Are you seeing a therapist? If you aren´t, you should.
You need someone to discuss your problems, but not just discuss, you also have to find a way to work on them and, eventually, make them go away.
Well, there´s not much that I can say.
Just you can help yourself.
But, right now, you just have to decide what you really want to do. Do you wanna go to Spain? So go, just do it. You have to take some risks on your life.
But, about me, I wish you the best!!
Be safe!

[TheHeroYouHate]

I want to be!
I'm technically under mental health care but im having no therapy or medication so yeah.
They dont want to treat me really.

I would like to go but it'd have to be booked in advance and i have a huge fear of illness so headaches/stomach pains/hair falling out/feeling sick for weeks beforehand isnt something i could really stand.