Hello everyone, just a few debates about medications here.
I am perscribed quetiapine and fluoxetine for psychosis, but I have very little compliancy. I "forget" and use that as an excuse but somehow I dont forget to take my pill. I use the side effects as an excuse to not take them [ but quetiapine is quite sedative and im tired a lot anyways], and fluoextine is just kinda .. sickly.
And also, when I have took them for a few weeks, i didnt FEEL much different. I didnt THINK any different, but my cpn said she noticed improvement and thought they were working. But maybe I didn't take em long enough to see a considerable change? But anti-depressants aren't effective anyways? [ As there was a big media debate a while ago]. Is medication supposed to make you feel "normal"? Sociable? Not suicidal? Or am I looking for a miricle cure? I feel suicidal on them just I am not as likely to act upon it.
Also, when I was on Lamotrigine and Aripiprazole earlier this year for bipolar, when I was "stabalised", I just felt in limbo. A uncomfortable feeling really.
Maybe its because I think that if I take them and get "better" [although I dont see much improvement anyways], I will loose my identity. Noone will actually bother with me anymore. I dont know.
So yeah, am I just on the wrong meds? How are they supposed to make you feel? How do other people comply with them?
I have a compliance issue, too. I tend to decide I don't want them anymore for various reasons and lie as much as I have to. The best thing you could really do is just convince yourself to give them a shot, or try a different medication. You should be feeling something after a few weeks-month. It's you they have to help, so if only your cpn saw the difference, what's the point. They should be making you feel better. Try a different dose or even a different med. Google some. Find something you'll be okay with taking. This is about you, you should be comfortable with what you're taking, and they should actually be doing something for you (feeling less moody, irritable, anxious, whatever you take them for).
Antidepressants work well for a lot of people, but they also dont work for other people. Fluoxetine worked wonders for my mum, but did nothing for me.
I would say that a couple of weeks on any medication is too soon to tell if it's having any real effect or not. They say it can take up to eight weeks to see.
Medication isn't a miracle cure, but I would imagine if it were working, it would be like someone turning the volume down in your head. The voices and thoughts might still be there, but at a low volume. They wouldn't bother you and you would be able to not act on them. For most people, the voices and thoughts would go and they would feel "normal" again. Meds wont make you happy or elated, but they should even out the lows and bring you back to a baseline. And as this happens, you should start to feel like you want to do more things again.
If you get better, you wont be losing anything, you will be finding yourself. Having a mental illness doesnt define you. Once it goes, you are still there, underneath it all.
As you start to get better, you learn how to live again without the voices and thoughts. It's not scary.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
The whole losing your identity thing kinda reminds me of a quote from prozac nation.
Quote:
“In a strange way, I had fallen in love with my depression. Dr. Sterling was right about that. I loved it because I thought it was all I had. I thought depression was the part of my character that made me worthwhile. I thought so little of myself, felt that I had such scant offerings to give to the world, that the one thing that justified my existence at all was my agony.”
Medication is like a crutch. Its there to help you and ease some of the struggle, not make everything brilliant. And they can take some months to work. In the end you have to take responsbility for yourself and to remember to take the medication. but that has to be your choice not anyone elses.
