What is this... *trigs a few*

24-12-2008, 02:28 PM

Im really not sure what to say, so sorry if this thread is a bit of a mess... or causes confusion. To cut a long story short.. My life has been pretty tough...
Ive had:
- 2 Abusive Boyfriends

The following content has been hidden - Reason : *trigger SA and SI*

- A family member attacked me.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : *trigger SA*

- I was bullied from Primary school to Secondary School. Pretty much from the start to the end.
- Never had a good relationship with parents. My mom said if she had 2 kids out of the 4 she has. I wouldnt be 1 of those to. She also fell in love with my first boyfriend and kicked me out when he dumped me. She yelled from outside the house swearing at me... etc.
- Dad... he likes to "play fight" but always gets rough and I have told him this. One time while throwing me... I grabbed his ear and nearly ripped it off.

So! Not many know the true extent of my past... but I have always SI'd. Ive never really had proper friends at all. Recently... a friend delibrately triggered me and told me how much to hurt myself (which i wrote a post about) She and I were very close and for her to say that just ... it really hit hard, someone I cared for that much would do that. Before then I had been SI free.... But she started it all again properly. Things have got even more stressful recently... arguments with relatives and friends and boyfriend.

Now I dont know why... but for the past few days I keep hearing voices in my head... and I have also "seen" people following me. When I actually turn around there is no one there. I dont know... Im to scared to tell the doctor...

Im not sure if this is just due to stress ... Because I only eat once a day... Or have I been triggered so much the past few weeks that Im actually.... yea. Any help would be appreciated... I dont know whats happening... :(

green.eyes · 24-12-2008, 03:05 PM

hey hun
sorry things have been so hard for you. please remember that you don't deserve to be treated this way, you deserve love and respect.
as for the voices- a friend of mine has told me she 'sees' / 'hears' thigns when she is under extreme stress. it might be the way your mind is trying to process things.
when you see/hear stuff do they tell you to do anything or do they just say random things?
if its the former you need to tell the doctor asap. if its the latter perhaps you could try some deep breathing/anti-anxiety techniques when this happens (they can easily be found on the net via search engines) and see if it helps. if they continue though you should try to go to the doctor.
take care hun
*hugs*

24-12-2008, 03:36 PM

At the moment its just random stuff or faint mumbling. At night I often see shadows and during the day I think people are following me. I find it very strange and it often makes me extremely paranoid and jumpy. :/
I also never saw a counsellor or such... No one really knows alot of the stuff...

cant-stop-myself · 24-12-2008, 11:46 PM

Sounds like you have been through some really tough times through no fault of your own *hugs*. Sometimes voices can be caused when you are under so much emotional stress, but I really think you should go to the doctors. You do deserve help and there is help out there for you if you want it

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