Triggering (SI) - It's christmas ><

[Duffer44]

Ok call me slow or what ever but today it's just hit home that in one week it will be christmas or as i refer to it as shitmas. My mood has just dropped all i want to do is drink and cut because it's come back with a bang all the memories all the years of hell and family losses the main one being my grandad. I can't cope with it anymore all the years i've carried this crap and i don't like it i don't want it. I either want to be dead or that pissed that it passes without me even noticing. Every going christmas isn't about presents it's family which i agree with but i can't turn to my family for a hug on that day i have all but disowned them have very little contact with them which hurts me as much as what they did. Family is meant to be there to help they are meant to be on my side but they never have or will be all i say is i cant wait for shitmas to pass.

[Ash*]

A situation's as **** as you make it.
I get it's a hard time for you, and you associate it with a lot of hurt and pain,but really, to stop this time of year feeling like crap, you have to do something about it.
Getting drunk and hurting yourself isn't going to make what you hate go away, it's going to leave it where it is and add a problem to it.

You're worth more than that.

**** happens to good people,but you can turn it around and make what you want out of it. So do it.

[Seraphsigh]

*hugs*
Ash is right...you're the only one who can turn things around. I'm sorry that you've had to go through so much s***, especially this time of year, and that you don't have a good relationship with your family...
I'm hoping that you can find some happiness soon, and I'm here for you if you need another friend.
xoxo

D'Arcy

[Sigma]

I get so envious of people who have supportive families because mine isn't, it sets me off as well, but the others are right - we can't change our families but we can do something about our own lives.

I know it's tough to take positive steps when you're feeling crap, but can you plan in some things you do enjoy, and meet up with anyone who will be supportive?

I've offered to be the one at work who covers the phones during Christmas so I keep busy, and on Xmas Day/Boxing day where I'm not at work will get myself lots of nice food and a stack of cheesy DVDs... whatever will help you get through it?

[teenytineytori]

i decided a long time ago that friends are the family you choose. we are born into our family and we have no choice. we may not like dealing with them we may not have chosen to have these particular people be fixtures in our lives but they are there and there really isn't anything we can do about that. what we can do is surround ourselves with outside people that are supportive and understand us as people. we can also do things for ourselves that make us happy and make us feel better. figure out who those people are in your life and reach out to them. if you do not have those people right now than keep reaching out here until those people come into your life. and start doing small things for yourself. i always buy myself a birthday present why not buy yourself a chrsitmas present. you deserve something you really want especially on a hard day. and do littl things. i sometimes curl up and read. i only get out of bed to eat and pee. that for me is a wonderful way to rejuvinate myself. figure out what types of things rejuvinate you and use those things to help bring you back to a healthier place

((hugs))

[Duffer44]

Thank-you all it all makes sence and i get what your all saying thank-you