Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - why wont this memory let me be?

[me=>]

over the last 3 months i have getting counselling. but it wasnt until the late 5 weeks when i admitted i had be sexually abused as a young teenager. so the last few weeks have been really difficult. talking about what happened makes it so much more 'real' if you know what i mean? anyway over the last two weeks i have been having nightmares and flashbacks of the some 'experience' over and over again. when i experience these i can hear, see, smell, feel and even taste the same things i did when it happened. this is ruining my life i cant sleep, eat or even function. i just want this memory to leave me alone!! its like reliving it over and over again. i dont want this!! i never wanted anything that happened!!! i just want all these feelings to stop. i cant see a way out!! please i just want to be left alone so i can one day dissappear!!!

[troubleshooter]

When you first tell someone about being abused the next week is usually really hard with memories surfacing because you pushed them away so much. After the first week you should start to feel more normal and settle down and get help. *hugs* Good luck

[Spoons]

its brave to admit it and be able to talk about it, i understand the feeling of it seeming so much more 'real'. talking about it for the first time out loud is really hard. having more flashbacks and stuff is understandable because its in your mind alot, having spoken about it.

it will get easier eventually, but i know that s harly comforting now.

pm if you want to chat or anything

[fakesmiler]

hey hun same happened to me when i started talkin, so i no how hard it is, but in order for things to best in the long run u have to talk, which means it will get worse for a while. but it wont last forever and after u have gotten through this it will be worth it, thats what i keep tellin myself anyway :) xx

[ghosts in the machine]

Here's some wise words I was told when in your position;

Think about it as if the abuse is a splinter deeply buried in the base of your thumb - leaving it there will cause you pain in the long term. It'll get infected. Your hand won't be able to function properly, and it'll be hurting all your life. Therapy is basically taking the splinter out, cleaning the wound and allowing it to heal. Yes it hurts like hell when you squeeze the splinter out. Antiseptic cleaning stuff also stings like a bitch, and the healing process can sometimes be painful/itchy/have setbacks/etc.

But. Once everything's out, and you've healed - things will be much better than being in pain for the rest of your life.

*hugs* doesn't mean it's a pleasent journey though. Good luck xx

[shadow-light]

first off well done on opening up and talking about this, must have been hard.
when you first talk about these things memories and feelings are bound to appear, and yes they can be unbearable and make life difficult for a bit. but they do lessen, keep talking to your councillor about it all, tell them about this and they may have some advice.

also, do you know of any grounding techniques? they can be very useful when the memories or flashbacks become intense. I find it's useful to write down a list of them so that they are to hand when you need them.

[boobie]

mybe your having these flashbacks and memories for a reason? you ever thought of that?