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Triggering (Substance Abuse) - ugh... why do i like smoke so much? it's not even natural!
ok while most people don't like smoke at first and cough, i really really like it. I did cough of course, but I love the burning in my throat. maybe the pain, i don't know. but it's so addicting. I used to smoke weed, but not only do I not have easy access to it, but my job does drug tests so i don't do it. i've never tried cigarettes but i want to so bad. every time someone smokes anywhere close to me i can breathe the smoke and feel it. and it feels so good. i don't know why. it's weird. but i don't want to try cigarettes because they're expensive and give you lung cancer. at least w/ marijuana you only smoke once a day or so. w/ cigarettes you smoke all the time. who wants to be dependent like that? i live in a place where smoking in public places is generally illegal, but it can happen at certain distances and w/ my friends and such. how do i keep from trying them? like i said i've seen people have lung cancer and don't want that, not to mention i can't afford that. (like $6 a box here!) i wish i could do weed but it's illegal and not worth losing my job over. and it'd be so easy to try smoking, cause it's absolutely legal. ugh. i love that feeling but know how bad that kind of addiction would be. and i know i'd be addicted to it. if i could do it once a week that'd be great. but i know that won't happen. ideas?
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