Flashbacks of being restrained and other hospital related stuff *may be triggering*
Recently I've been getting quite vivid dreams and flashbacks of how ill i was in hospital...
I keep remembering how I was restrained everyday and how I used to do things that was totally out of charecter, things I'm too embaressed to post!
I sometimes wake up like I'm struggling to get out of a restraint, screaming and shouting all sorts of things...
It's really disturbing...
I keep hearing the alarms that used to go off before the restraints ever happened and when I hear some sort of alarm or even a horn from a car (don't understand that one) I automatically think back of things that went on in the adolesant ward...
Don't get me wrong, I understand fully about why things like restraints and threats of injections where needed and it was in my best intrest and it wasn't like they were doing it for the craic (fun) but I just can't stop thinking about these really disturbing things I want to forget!
anybody else had experiences like mine or just any advice on how to make it go away?
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
Hey,
first of all, i'm sorry you had to go through that. But as you stated, it was for your own good.
Have you got a support system at the moment? E.g. psychiatrist/therapist? They could maybe prescribe you something to help repress these flashbacks. Or find a way to slowly ease off the triggers?
Sorry this isn't such good advice, it was off the top of my head.
"From seeing the worst to loving the strongest; People grow over time."
Yea i see a CPN and a consultant for mental health... yea I could mention that to them about the medication but the only thing is is I hate mediction as I'm on quite a few medication but I would give it a try because it's horrible remembering these things... Im so ashamed!
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
It's nothing to be ashamed of =)
I know I'm extremely forgetful when taking medication.
It is better to talk it over with a professional as they're trained to help you out. If you mention the whole medication thing, maybe they could suggest something like hypnotherapy. My friend had that for her flashbacks and she says they worked wonders for her.
"From seeing the worst to loving the strongest; People grow over time."
You don't have to feel ashamed
I'm sorry you went through all of that hun, but it sounds like you wern't very well at the time so you can't be held accountable for your actions really.
I know how you feel though. I have lots of flashbacks of being restrained and injected and it's pretty scary. If I hear a noise like an alarm I start to shake, and if I see policemen (I was sectioned by the police) I totally freak out.
I just have to reassure myself that I'm safe now and It's in the past and I don't have to be afraid anymore and tell myself that I was ill and I wasn't in the right state of mind.
xxxxxxxxx
"In the driest whitest stretch of pains infinate desert, I lost my sanity, and found this rose"
yea I think if i mention about the flashbacks and things to my CPN she might be able to help me out... again I don't know I think its just one of those things I'll have to live with...
I know I shouldn't feel ashamed but I feel so bad about it, I know I was ill but I think I over reacted when they tried to stop me from doing anything silly, I feel so guilty for taken up staff time and making all the other patients see and hear me!
Jess I'm sorry you had to go through similar experiences... It's understandable about when you see police!
I know it's in the past but what if it's in the future again? I see myself being restrained when i close my eyes, I hear myself screaming... it won't go away and im not seeing my consultant until after the new year and he's the only one who can perscribe anything...
maybe im just over reacting and should just forget about it? idk! :s
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
Hiya, Im having flashbacks of the same sort of things, its not nice. I keep getting images of being restrained and of being injected against my will. Whenver I hear an alarm, I think automatically of the ones they have in the hospital. You could try writing down everything that happened so you're not keeping it inside. You could also try talking to someone about how you feel and explore the traumatic time you had in hospital. Try not to push this to the back of your mind because it will only make the flashbacks worse, get it all out and if you can, talk to someone, preferably a professional. Make sure you have te support that you need.
Some things give me flashbacks of hospital. I was never restrained but I saw other people getting restrained so I get flashbacks of that, and the time I was nearly attacked by another patient. And the alarm, some things sounds just like the alarm and it's horrible.
Sorry, I don't really know what to suggest. Talking a lot will help, and time will help you to heal from your experiences.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Thanx for your replies guys...
I'm sorry you's had to experience this both from yourself's being restrained or seeing someone getting restrained... or even another patient nearly attacking you, this never happened to me in the ward but I seen another young person trying to attack the staff with a knife which is also replaying over and over in my mind!
I was going to talk to my mum about it the night but I know she cares and I don't think she would want to hear it, she already knows as the nurse's usually had to phone to report what had happened and I think if i were to mention it to her, she'd get upset.
what help do you recieve with helping you with regards to the experiences from hospitals?
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
I don't have flashbacks but I sometimes dream about when I was restrained in hospital and by the police and it's not pleasant to have to remember it. I'm not getting any help for this because it's not much of an issue now (only occassional dreams).
LetMeSlipAway I think the best thing you can do is to talk about it with someone like a therapist. No one can tell you how to make them go away but you can learn ways to manage them when they happen. I know it's so cliche but it's said so much because it's the truth.
Previous username: Miss-Ruby
R.I.P my budgie Bubbles 26/01/09...in my <3 forever.
I also had this recently - which is weird cuz I haven't been in hospital for over 4 years now - but have started remebering things that I did while I was very unwell. This also isn't helped by the fact that I'm a student mental health nurse and am on placement on a psych ward so obviously the alarms go off a lot and I have to observe restraint (although as a student don't get involved).
In some ways though it is helpful cuz it makes me realise that it is only done for the patients good. I used to feel very angry about forced medicating with injections and have now learned that it is the most humane thing as when someone is very distressed it helps calm them down.
However, that doesn't take away the fact that it is a very distressing thing in itself to have all your autonomy and taken away from you.
Your should not feel embarrassed at all about the things that you did and the way you were when you were unwell, as others have also said, you were UNWELL and therfore it is not your fault and as you said it is out of character for you.
You should definately mention it to your CPN - even if it just helps to verbalise it. Also, I think it's really important that professionals understand how much of an impact it can have and how distressing it can be for someone, as I'm not sure they all really realise. (although most of them do and they definately don't restrain or medicate unnecessarily).
Hope you can get help and this doesn't continue to haunt you so much.
Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway
sometimes i do wonder if the restraints and injections are always necessary. i realise that sometimes they may be, but i've spent 14 months as an in-patient (two months in acute and a year in a therapeutic community - and on occasion, really dangerous things had occurred there) and i've never seen anyone be restrained or injected, i've never seen the seclusion room used on the acute ward, and i've never myself been restrained. i just... hmm, not sure at all. sorry that i realise this isn't a helpful answer to the original post, i wish i could be of more help.
The flashbacks and the dreams are so vivid and life like and it actually does feel like Im pushing the staff away and struggling to to break free out of a restraint as i usually put up a fight and then I'd get exhausted and give up and im re-living the whole thing...
Sopranonut, how do you cope with seeing people getting restrained? Im applying for mental health at university for next year but the thought of seeing someone restrained would bring it all back... That must be really hard to deal with espesially when you've been there yourself....
Whirlpools I agree sometimes i beleive restraints arnt the answer as i always found when it happened to me I got angry and it made me worse and depending on how the staff where (like if they were saying things for example one time when i was getting restrained one of the nurses said that I must enjoy getting restrained because it happened everyday and started to winde me up) I'd fight the restraint to the very end which meant a longer restraint
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
I did find the first time i had to watch somone being restrained very difficult, but it does get easier. The staff on the ward were really supportive tho - i didn't tell them exactly why i had found it hard - but they were very helpful in explaining it all to me and the reason behind it etc. After it had taken place they also all got together to have a debrief and discuss whether they could have done anything better or differently. This made me feel reassured that they really had taken it seriously. Not all teams are like that though. Some other wards don't seem to discuss it or debrief as much. It does get easier though.
There have been many things on this course that have been hard to see or hear, but as with most things it gets easier every time as I start to no longer associate with things that I have seen or happened when I was a patient but things that I have seen or worked with as a professional.
Does that make sense? However, I do wish I had waited a bit longer before going to start my training.
Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway
I've been through the same problems. The restraints and alarms still haunt me. When I'm particularly triggered, I find it helpful to write my experiences down. Getting it out on paper can be cathartic.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I'm not sure whether my ward discussed what happened during a restraint but I know a few of the staff members would check in and see if i was alright and if it was a violent restraint they'd usually call in a doctor to assess you afterwards!
Thanx steel... I've tried to write out about my experiences and found it somewhat helpful... still i found it very dauting to read over...
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
You're welcome.
I type my experiences on my phone so that no-one else can find them, but you may find it better to write them on a piece of paper, then, when you're finished, tear the piece of paper into shreds. Destroy it. Recycle it. Burn it. Just destroy it somehow. According to the school counsellor that is a very powerful tool for getting rid of bad thoughts.
Good luck.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I'm not sure whether my ward discussed what happened during a restraint but I know a few of the staff members would check in and see if i was alright and if it was a violent restraint they'd usually call in a doctor to assess you afterwards!
Maybe it's different where you are, but I work at a local hospital and we have very strict guidelines for these types of events. We always process (discuss) the event afterwards, so that we can improve our response (if possible). We also are required to have a medical doctor (or nurse) assess the patient (for physical harm) within one hour. Lastly, as long as the patient is in restraint or seclusion, there MUST be someone with them 1:1 for the entire duration.
I can't imagine how traumatic it must be for some people... especially with all the noises and such. If you are still having flashbacks, Steel is right... write them down. It doesn't have to be perfect... just write down whatever comes to mind... even if they are just words... or pictures... whatever! Write it down, then tear it up! One of my favorite parts of the movie Girl, Interrupted is when the nurse tells the main character to "write it down, put it away... stop curling up with it!" It can be VERY healing...
I woke up late... guess I'm never really early. I hesitate, ONLY TO FAIL. I get so tired of procrastinating. I need a change.
How are you now? Only2fail is right. I've read the Mental Health Act which states that what only2fail says has to happen.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
hey steel... emm its still a bit of an issue and ive found that even if im wearing a seat belt in a car and something happens to make the car jump foward and the seat belt restricts you from moving, I get quite panicky about it...
I've never managed to pluck up the courage to tell my mum or my CPN... i'll get round to it tho when im feeling a little braver
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
