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Old 05-12-2008, 06:37 PM   #1
SolidSnake
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
People skills

Hi there. I'm about to join the police, something I've always wanted to do. I have some things I still need to iron out. I'm 18 and from the UK. I don't have a mental problem or issue, it's more of inexperience in the way to deal with certain things.

Here are the things I tend to become nervous/anxious and all the rest of it:

When surrounded by strangers e.g busy street, on a bus, now this is something I had no problems with at all. I used to be shy, but I'm no longer. I can deal with this no problem when I'm with a friend or friends, but when I'm on my own I tend to fall into like a trance and just get nervous and anxious, why is this? I don't know how to relax myself adequately on my own, how can I just relax and go about these situations without any worry? I don't intend any of the thoughts I some times have, it's like my mind begins to think for itself and I go along with that making me anxious.


I have no problems speaking at all. I have practiced talking in privacy, but when I'm again with strangers I sometimes get really nervous, sometimes shake and just can't speak normally, I can't get some words out or I mix all my words up, it's like I'm sptting out automated responses my mind quickly thinks of not giving me the chance to clam down and think about what to say. I also sometimes get a red face etc, I hate it! I don't mean it at all it just happens. How can I sort all this? How can I gain assertiveness? I allow things to get to me which affects my speech, how can I control this? I need to be more assertive.


Do these all come down to confidence? I am quite a confident person. Or are these all about controlling myself? I think I need to learn how to control myself better as I seem to allow myself to control me.


Please do advise! I wish to develop these people skills asap.

Thanks.

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Old 05-12-2008, 07:09 PM   #2
LetMeSlipAway
Elaina!xo
 
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: N.Ireland
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I don't have any advice except that this sometimes happens me and well done in following your dream job...

Elaina xo



Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!



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Old 05-12-2008, 09:01 PM   #3
melda
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: West Midlands, UK
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Its ace that you're going to be doing a job that you really want to do. Getting anxious about these things can be quite normal, but it sounds like they are a bit of an issue for you. Can you think of any reason why you might be getting anxious? If you feel like you dont have personal skills, then it might be worthwhile going to a class that help people build up people skills, look it up on the internet, or try your GP. If you feel anxious, then try and do some relaxation techniques, like breathing in for 7 seconds and then out for 11 seconds. I have some relaxation techniques on my PC, if you want me to PM them to you let me know.

You will probably discover people skills while being a police officer, but if you are concerned, join a class or read up on how to improve your people skills on the internet or buy a book.

I wish you the best of luck.



God Bless

xxx

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