I saw a new psychiatrist today as my one has left the outpatient team for the inpatient one.
Told her quite a lot of stuff that I've been keeping to myself and she said I need to be admitted. She phoned the crisis team to try and get them to assess me straight away but they couldn't then she asked if I could be assessed at A & E but I don't think she understood that it's the same crisis team that work there, I don't know, there was a complication. The crisis team are going to phone me and assess me tomorrow apparently.
I did make a point of writing / typing down a lot which I've never said before to this MH team about how bad I've been feeling and things I've been doing / planning..to show them.
But I wasn't expecting this.
I went home as fast as I could forgetting to pick up my prescription [which I later went back for] and as soon as I got in the front door broke down into tears and told my mum.
Mum has been extremely calm about it and told me I have to put things into context and that it's only as big in my head as I make it. Because I said I was scared to tell her because it felt like a huge thing in my head.
Still stunned by it all. Stunned at what happens when I'm honest and open with a professional.
The psychiatrist said that what I showed her was bound to raise anxiety. But I said I can't understand the action being taken because this all feels normal to me.
She said I need intensive help now.
I never think I deserve any help or attention at all. So it's a lot to take in.
Don't know when I will be going to the psych hospital, tomorrow perhaps.
Last edited by Misunderstood. : 04-12-2008 at 07:59 PM.
The psychiatrist also took my mobile number and said if she phones, to phone her straight back. o0....as I said I never pick up the phone. Both she and the crisis team are going to leave messages.
It must be weird to be suddenly taken so seriously. It's weird how you can say stuff to one person and they don't do anything, and another thinks you should go into hospital.
I hope it helps you, and keeps you safe.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I'm to see the crisis team at 14:30 today. Nervous about it. Don't like the fact it's like I've to prove myself again =/
The decision lies with them now apparently. I've written notes and also..broke it to my mum today that I've been SH-ing.
If I'm admitted mum is going to drive me there, a friend told me that if you can't make your own way there then they pick you up but **** that, much rather wait till my step dad is home from work and go with mum.
Thinking to myself I must not resist their decision, I really don't want to be sectioned, already dreading control being taken from me as it is.
Last edited by Misunderstood. : 05-12-2008 at 11:59 AM.
i hope it all goes ok and you get the help you need.
xxx
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
good luck.... hospitals not so bad when they lessen the restriction after the first while.... hope u get all the help u need and let us know how things went if u can xx
alone in a world of people
Razors pain you, rivers are damp, acid stains you, drugs cause cramps, gun aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, youmightaswelllive.
If I go in then I will take my laptop / 3 modem if I can.
I was in hospital from the ages 14 to 17 and then a 2 week stay when I was 19 [I'm 23 now].
I just never thought it would come to this again. I told myself quite a long time ago that it wouldn't. That's what made me so upset when she first told me yesterday.
It's what made me cry. I don't think I am ever going to get better.
Trying to stay practical minded,...but I keep welling up with tears.
Crying is ok - sometimes it's just necessary, though it's never nice. You may have been in hospital a few times, but that doesn't mean that you will always be going to and from hospital. You can get better. Annoyingly, getting better takes years of hard work and good support, but you will be ok.
*hugs*
I wasn't admitted thankfully.
The crisis team saw no productivity coming from it and said the self damagin behaviours will only stop when I choose to stop them.
They are not wrong.
I am glad, I feel like they've given me the go ahead for cutting, drinking and Overdosing. I know they didn't mean it like that. But still. It's how I've taken it, as a good thing.
