What is the answer? First we need to know "What is the question"
The question is how do you feel about sucide?
Is it ever an option?
My opnion.......yes it is an option.
I have just gotten done with this discussion and my thoughts are....
Either fight or give up.
Now I am not talking about a younger person here or one that has had something tragic happen recently.
I am talking about someone that is mentally in pain for years and cannot function in the world.
Depression is a snowball effect.
To me it is alike being an alcholic, you cannot see yourself living one day without it. You have forgotten what it is like to not be depressed.
It is too hard to live and fight it.
My opnion is "fight it or die"
If you are just going to give in and not fight and let depression take over then it is time to throw in the towel.
People say..."what happens to family and loved ones if you throw in the towel"...
Well do you really know what family and loved ones are going through everyday waiting for you to throw in the towel?
Do you know what it is like watching someone waste away to nothing?
I am talking about people who spend their time in bed barely able to get up to eat because they think depression has taken over their lives.
Depression is one big snowball....you have to fight (maybe your whole life but you have to fight).
First you feel alittle down so you don't want to face the world......you stay in bed.
Still feeling down...stay in bed somemore.
Get depressed because you stayed in bed.
Don't get up because you are depressed because you stayed in bed.
Lose you job because you didn't go because you were to depressed....
Get more depressed because you lost your job (family, car, house) because you were too depressed to get out of bed.
If you DO NOT FIGHT then it is time to give up.
Life with depression is one big, long fight...but you must do it. You have to make yourself get out of bed. You have to push yourself to the extreme.....YOU HAVE TO FIGHT.
Some days I do not want to go on, I look at a brickwall and just want to smash my face into it.
I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to face another day.
But honestly, where is that going to get me?
Sorry, but it is just my opnion...if I am not going to fight, then it is time to throw it all in.
If you are one to say "The pain will be passed on if I throw in the towel", then you have a reason right there to fight.
We can all fight, I think everyone of us here has it in us to fight.....some of us just need a good kick in the ass and someone to tell us the truth.......Just fight or give up.
Stop making yourself feel worse with the snowball of depression by OD'ing, staying in bed, wasting your time thinking about sucide and what it will do to people.
Spend that energy on fighting it.
I have been on both sides of the fence... I have stayed in bed,OD'd "tried to commit sucide"(because none of us are dumb here and if we really wanted to we would), I have decided to fight....I have had loved ones stay in bed, OD'd,"tried to commit sucide", not fight, until I finally told them how I feel.
To me......if you really cannot go on.......
FIGHT OR DIE
Is depression curable?
I believe not, but it is treatable.
Just like other things such as diabetes...it is not curable but treatable.
Sure if you have diabetes, you can choose not to fight and just lay in bed and let it takeover.....
or you can choose to fight (which I have seen first hand is not an easy fight)
But you have to keep going, even though it may take awhile to get the meds right along with other things.
It is daily upkeep, but it can be done.
The same with depression....it is a daily fight (not an easy one) but can be done.
Like I have said....I have been on both sides of the fence and I would not begrudge anyone of sucide.....I know the pain, but then I also know and have seen people fight their way out of it and in the end the fight is well worth it, even with the occasional relaspe.
I know after years of "treatment"and no response, we all feel like...."why bother", "it will never end", there is no light at the end of the tunnel".
We have all been or are on the "meds merry-go-round"
I just want to let you know....you can fight "it", you can learn to live with "it".
I can, you can, we all can.....
just think about it and fight.....it will be worth it in the end, you are wasting too much precious time "being depressed"
I keep peeking my head in, trying to formulate a good response, but it is quite difficult to do. You absolutely have a valid point. Unfortunately, at this point in time, I do not have any fight in me. Am I suicidal, no. Would it bother me in the least if I were to drop dead right now, no. Maybe I am fighting, so to speak, in the only way I can right now. I get out of bed, I take care of my kids, I go to work, I go home. I keep my psych appointments. I prefer to think of it as functioning, it is not a fun place to be, there is not joy, there is simply routine and tasks.
I don't know if this falls into what you are saying, or if I am just full of ----, could be a little of both.
I fight only as I can't give in yet. I think it is unfair that I have to fight to stay but I am not fighting very well. I think part of me is wanting to loose.
I don't know I am sorry.
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Memento Mori
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Live your dream? Or Dream your life?
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I can't hug people in real life and online it makes me feel like a lier.
*tackles linda and cuddles tightly* you are awesome. *nods*
I read your words and suddenly feel like charging up and down the hallway yelling I can do this! You're right and i've actually told people that if they're not going to fight it then they may as well give up. they got all offended and didn't speak to me for awhile but then... then they started to fight. I think that fighting is the key. even if that fight is just to get out of bed and have a shower, that's the beginning of your fight. I don't think depression is a terminal illness. i think you can treat it and you can overcome it! I think that relapse will always be a possibilty but fighting will always be the answer.
Thank you for these wonderful words of wisdom angel ^_^
Love you lots.
Jess
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
i have nothing else to say, though what you have said is right, and there is always treatments for depression.
“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”
Thank you for the courage to say those words. They are so true.
It bothers me when people say negative things about those who have committed suicide.. things like they are so selfish.. why didn't they get help... etc.
I feel that such things are ignorant... as the fight with mental illness is a fight, one that is quite draining... and sometimes death is a very attractive alternative. I know that I almost on a couple of occasions went down that route... not because I felt like I wanted someone else to take my problems, not because I didn't care how others felt... but because I was soo tired of fighting... and I didn't think I could win.
I agree... we all can choose to fight.. it's not easy, and it's as was said, it can be a lifelong battle.
I don't know if I mad any sense.. I am somewhat rambling here.. anyways, I appreciate your posts.. and everyone's posts here.
Right now I am choosing to fight.
*Hugs*
Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.
Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. ~ Scott Adams
Linda, I dont have anything much to add, i wont insult you by saying i truly know what you mean by what you said, but i understand the area you are coming from and your words ring very true, both from a personal aspect and from watching others struggle. Personally i fight, because other people giving up made me suffer and i couldn't do that to anyone, but who knows how long one persons fight lasts.
If I pretended I was blind
And struck it from my mind
Would it still be there?
What if I'd do anything
To make it seem all right
I finally got Lei'd in Vets....It was an enjoyable experience!
Hmmmm interesting. I see why we call it a 'fight' as such. I call it more like a war than a fight. A fight you are left to your own devices to protect yourself. A war you have support, equipment etc. We do have that support in counselling, therapy, medications etc but it comes at a cost. Medications have side affects, therapy can cost people money as can counselling and once you have lost everything to being depressed, it's hard for some to get those resources. We are lucky in Australia to have medicare, public mental health service and subsidised medicines for those on low incomes. You can never really win a war as such, it just has an outcome. If you are alive at the end of it, you have been through hell, not physically but psychologically. It is not something as easy as just snapping out of it, leaping out of bed jumping straight into a job and getting your life on track in a few days or weeks. Sadly we lose many, many that may be less fortunate or not have the available resources. Who are we to judge them? We have no right to unless we've been in their exact situation. Are they selfish? Who are we to judge? We don't see how badly they may have wasted away, consider how you might react if there was nothing but total and complete hopelessness. People who have no money, no job, suffering from illness in pain, no home and are living on freezing cold streets. They are way more disadvantaged than us, we are all able to pay to be connected to the net so we must have at least some hope. The recovery process is very lengthy and tiring. We go through medications, go to counselling sessions, visit social workers, have hospital admissions when we're vulnerable, the list goes on. We can't get out of bed when we're seriously depressed because of the symptoms, that's where anti depressants come into it. Before the 50s there was no such thing and people were confined to institutions for their lives. At least now we have the freedom of being treated 'outside' of the hospitals where we may be around those that love and care about us, which gives us something to live for. No one really choses to be depressed. There is nothing to gain out of it and it can be really dangerous. The ones who survive don't just need a will, they need resources, support, compassion and care of those around them etc. The reality is that we are not robots and we cannot be re-programmed to think, feel and respond to certain things, everybody is different. The first step is deep down under all that feeling of hopelessness, buried deep in the subconscious mind is a will to succeed in life and be free from depression. And every step is a small step. One battle at a time. You may be beaten in many battles before you have a victory. And slowly a glimmer of hope appears, far on the horizon. We have seen it, we know it's there and we strive towards it, through all the darkness of depression. To avoid the outcome of suicide, we need to have coping skills in place. Without building stronger coping skills we are all doomed. Coping skills we have right now are what keeps us here. If we are severely depressed we need to be medicated just to treat the symptoms of severe depression and give us some strength towards achieving more rational thinking. It's a chemical thing just as much as a psychological thing. If we refuse to take our meds we get worse much like a person with diabetes that doesn't take their insulin. We have to take the responsibility there, starting at the basics. Taking our meds and asking for help. It's often hard to do but think of the people that may not have the luxury of having these resources available. Society too is largely to blame for this. Even in the 21st century, it still places so much stigma on MI that people are too scared of being ostrecised for seeking help for things like depression. Some or most of us have used physical pain as a way to cope, or distract ourselves from emotional pain. For some of us, this may be the very reason why we are still alive. But if we are having to do this all the time then we are still depressed enough to be a danger to ourselves. We need some other way of building on our coping skills. This is where the professionals come in. To change our thinking will lead to changing our feeling. It may not change the situation at hand, but it gives us the strength to use rational thinking to deal with it. This is the start of the road to recovery.
PS: sorry about the novel, I am not trying to hijack the thread. I just thought you wanted ppl's opinions!
Last edited by airwolf282 : 02-12-2008 at 04:32 AM.
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the sheltered never know"
-Pinned to a noticeboard at the US Command Post in Khe Sanh.
As soon as you stop looking for those coping skills though... as soon as you stop reaching. that's it. when you can't even make a post on here anymore thn... well isn't that it? you're not even really there anymore. It's the hardest thing in the world seeing people give up fighting.
don't give up darlings... you CAN do this!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Agree with all of what you said, but...! (there's always a 'but'!). The trouble for me is i change so quickly from 'fight it' to 'give up' to 'fight it' - I wish I could decide which I was going to go for... but I guess that's part of fighting it... anyway, i'm still here...
hmmm....interesting topic with so many different answers, i think.
i dont think its that cut and dry really.
there are many "layers" to fighting or giving up.
i think we may fight a while and become so tired that we sink back a bit(which may seem like giving up) but then we may actually come out better for taking that bit of rest or even "setback".
i think it takes alot of trial and error in this process also. and its all individually based. everyone will come to terms of their illness in their own time and own way. and some never will.
i think there are many ways of "giving up" but still living to a ripe old age, depression, suicidal ideation and all that goes with it.
i also think there are ways of "fighting" and living to a ripe old age with maybe a more hopeful look at the world and ourselves, therefore making it "easier" to exist.
i reckon thats all ive got...
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
I think you are right yellow. It isn't as simple as a black and white analysis as to whether one fights or gives up. There is also the issue of those who have sadly ended their lives to free themselves of physical pain or disease. I have told my wife that I do not wish to be revived if I ever stop breathing because of the risk that I will get to live the rest of my life as a vegetable or quadraplegic etc.
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