No one deserves to be brought up in pain and you don't deserve what you are going through now.
Honey, everyone faces pain in their lives at one time or another and will continue to have some kind of hurtful situations happen in life no matter whether they were raised in a great home as a child or not.
For example.. everyone gets into fights with their friends and hurts the other person's feelings before they make up. People get their cars or homes broken into. And I could list other examples. These kinds of things happen to people no matter where they come from, where they live, how much money they have. It is something we all share.
Now, do you deserve the pain that you carry because someone or more than one person hurt you badly when you were a child? NO! Do people deserve to be hurt in the way that I stated in the examples above? NO again!
You can work through your serious pain that you carry and once you are able to heal from that, I think you will feel much stronger, better about who you are, and more able to deal with things.
You are also right, pills and drinking? Just going to make it so you can't think clear sweetie.
*hugs*
I don't know whether I helped or not but I am really worried about you and want to know if you are ok. Please tell us when you get a chance. If you want to talk more about this or tell me what you were thinking that led to this question... PLEASE private message me or email me.
Thanks.
