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Triggering (Abuse) - Checking In...
hi guys...
i havent been around for quite a while it seems. i dont want to sound ungrateful so please dont take it that way. but since ive stayed away for a while...it was kinda like a pressure lifted. i really was mentally caught up in RYL and trying to "fix" everyone when im still really messed up myself.
"2 quacks dont make a good doc"(hehe...i just made that up, seriously!!!)
anyhow...tomorrow is thanksgiving here in the states and i dread it like hell. im not celebrating. my mom has invited us and kelly's parents have invited us. last year we managed to go to both...but im putting my foot down this year. kelly is more than welcome to go to her parents(right next door)...but im not going anywhere. im trying not to stress myself so much these days over things that i DO have control over.
today i had an MRI done on my sacrum and coccyx(i can already hear the sniggers). but it was a bit painful as i had to lie straight on my back..but the staff were wonderful. i got to wear headphones and picck whatever music i wanted. they really went above and beyond.
ive seen the orthopedic and hes put me on strong meds(oxycodone) and they make me sick. i called my GP and he called in some phenergan for me. it helps a bit. but with all the other meds i take....the reaction is icky.
ive been busy on myspace making a brand new page dedicated to preventing and awareness of child abuse. its been keeping me busy. and i feel im making a bit of a difference..if ever so small.
the flashbacks have eased.
the migraines are still kicking though.
with the holidays coming....ive got to brace myself and try to stay as stable as possible. this year will be different from all the ones ive ever known. my grandma that we all went to her house to gather is now in a nursing home and cant even sit or feed herself.
so...we are going to stay 2 nights in a sheleigh in the mountains. it does sound nice...but so so bittersweet.
i love you guys so so much.
i have to handle myself right now..and im especially grateful to those here on RYL who have taught me that.
be back when i can...
love to all!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxx
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