he wants them to meet her. i can't handle it, not yet. but all he has to do is lie to me about when she is there and there you go. i keep trying to tell him no, that its too soon for the kids, too soon for me. even the thought of it...i can't even think what it would do to me.
am i just being selfish? should i let them meet her and get it over with? or do i try to think of a way to make sure they don't meet her? and how do i do that without stoping him from seeing them? cos i promised i wouldn't take them away from there dad, but i didn't sign up for them meeting her, you know?
i don't know what to do, even just thinking of it makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide away from it all. i can't stop thinking about the things i could do to make myself feel better. i am supposed to be holding it together for the kids, but i just want to do stuff. argh*bangs head* i just keep on letting them down.
sorry, this all prolly makes no sense, but please, someone tell me what to do, cos i don't know*cries*
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
Kerry, your not being selfish by saying that it is too soon for you. You need to be able to be strong enough to answer any of their questions that they might ask you.
I wish I could say something to make this all better for you *hugs tightly* All I can say is that ill be there(chat, msn, phone) whenever you need me, and that I'll try and help as much as i can.
I'm not surprised it's too soon for you. I also think it's probably too soon for your kids too. I think if you can tell Justin that the kids have been through enough upheaval lately, that they need to get used to their Dad living away before having matters complicated further for them. Hopefully he will do what's best for them.
And I'm sorry you're struggling. But you are not letting your kids down, you have been so incredibly strong lately that you should be proud of yourself.
I think Heidi Tiger is right - it probably is too soon for your kids. I agree with what she said - try and explain to him that there's been a lot happening in their lives and they need some time alone with him before another person is introduced into the mix.
Heidi is also right on another point - you're not letting your kids down... you're the one who's taking care of them and providing the stability through all this, and when they're older they'll realise that and appreciate it.
I know i just told you all this on msn but anyway. It is too soon you are right!! And I think you should ask Jo to speak to him with you. He might hear it better from an outsider!
^^^ What they've said. It's too soon, for you and the kids. He needs to understand that. You've come such a long way forward, you're not letting them down, I think you're protecting them from more heartache, and that's what an excellent parent does.
Just let him know it's too soon for everyone, you're not denying it completely, just at the moment.
Take care
Loz x
You don't have to be a monkey to recognize a banana!
thankyou guys for saying this, i guess i just needed someone to confirm what was already in my head, to know that i was doing the right thing. i am so used to screwing up, to not getting stuff right, i can't seem to find the faith in myself to do know when i am doing it right, you know?
i am gonna speak to jo, see how she feels about talking to him about it, hopefully she will get him to see that i am just thinking of the kids...he thinks this is just a game and i am just trying to score points, and thats not what this is about.
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
Kerry i have said this before but you have come so so far. you should be proud of what you have accomplished. I know things are not great, but you are doing so well. Im proud of you
Sorry you are going through a really bad time right now. I'm not sure of your situation or how long you have been seperated so I really don't know what to say I'm sorry. I have no idea of how bad it must feel to be in your position but I can relate to the feeling of being 'replaced' and I know how horrible that does feel.
Sending you warm hugs and you can PM me anytime if you want to talk......I will always listen!
Nathan xx
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the sheltered never know"
-Pinned to a noticeboard at the US Command Post in Khe Sanh.
