Diganosis and a Life Sentance at the same time - bargain.
If you're reading this, you may or may not know what it's like to have the very thing you fear most of all confirmed by somebody, well, with the power to confirm.
I realise this makes little or no sense, so I will try to explain.
On Thursday I had my first ever appointment with a psychiatrist. It was supposed to be a 40-45 minute consultation. I knew it was more serious than I thought when half hour into it, he asked me if I could excuse him so that he could just let his next appointment know that he'd be running behind. Didn't think anything of it until I left the appointment and realised I'd been in there for like an hour and a half :|
The long and short of it is that I have bipolar type 2, and symptoms of PTSD. Which then relates to the rambling bit that I started this post with.
I've been put on Quetiapine [Seroquel, I think the brand name is], and I woke up at 2:00pm today because of it. And I still feel weird.
Everything on the internet seems to contradict itself. I'm struggling to get my head around this. I mean, this is something I could potentially have for the rest of my life. I could be on meds for the rest of my freaking life. That's a long ****ing time.
Most psychiatric assessments are an hour and a half - mine was.
Would you be feeling any different if you'd been told it was depression? Or PTSD alone?
I'm no psychiatrist, but from what I understand with PTSD (I've been diagnosed with it to) it's an episodic thing. As in you can do therapy and stuff and be free of it.
With bipolar,it is something you'll always have. But it's a very treatable illness, and with the right medication should be got under control. And if you think of the advances psychiatry have made in the last 10-20 years, who knows what new treatments might be discovered in the future.
I can understand why you feel it's a life sentence, but if you lived with it untreated, it would be a life sentence. Now it's given a name, it means you can get help for it.
i can understand why it feels like a life sentence. and having a diagnosis for the first time kind of knocks the wind out of you. so many questions and fears - all perfectly okay to have and to ask.
if you had been diagnosed with diabetes, you'd have to watch out for fattening foods, sugary foods, have to have your feet checked, your eyes, your blood pressure etc. and you'd have to take insulin (depending upon the type of diabetes) for the rest of your life. but you come to terms with it. my dad has diabetes, and everything was up in the air after he found out. now it's like nothing's different. his life is normal.
with bipolar you need to watch out for things that affect or change with your mental health. and take meds. but i know a lot of people with bipolar who have very normal lives.
Remember that having a mind and emotions is a 'life sentence' too... We all have to live with managing difficult feelings and experiences in one way or another, diagnosis or no, it's all part of being human.
The things you were struggling with are the same as they were before you had a diagnosis. You are the same person with the same thoughts and feelings. It's just now, they have a name. Nothing has really changed. You're still Chels underneath it all, and we all still think you rock.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
PTSD can be worked through with good trauma therapy. as for bipolarity, there are excellent meds out there. a psychiatrist friend of mine told me no female under 40 should be prescribed lithium unless there's absolutely no alternative
With the quetiapine I find you just got to learn to take it at the right time, I take my whole dose before I go to bed, and know the later I take it the later I will sleep, and this cost me initially with sleeping in for work, but I seem to have it in the balance now :)
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
You just got diagnosed. To me its a blessing for you. Its going to take a while to sink in but this will explain so many things and NOW you can get the right sort of treatment for it and also it will stop you thinking you are making it all up.
Let it sink in. Watch the DVD i will send or give you if i see you soon.
You are going to be okay.
You may have this label for a very long time, however you do not need to suffer it providing you get the right care and attention. you van have a full and rich and fulfilling life.
I know know how scary a diagnoses is. It confirms things and feels like the end of everything. But its not. The meds can help, but it takes some time for them to work and the side effects to go away. and therapies can help too. It may be someone you have forever, but it does get better. It doesn't mean your life is going to change for the bad forever.
"If you don't stand for something in your life, then you will fall for anything"
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
My psych assessment took 3 hours. I've been told I'll be on meds for the rest of my life. The good thing is that the side-effects wear off with time.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Although it is scary now this could be very good thing as you start getting hopefully better treatment.
Like everyone else said Bipolar is for the rest of your life but very manageable...I'm bipolar and find my meds really help, they found the right ones quite quick for me, and although it may take some time I hope the same for you.
I have bipolar (idk if its one or two, its the most severe one) and ptsd and borderline personality disorder. it gets easier. and you will gte used to the medicine and it will stop making you sleep so late
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain
I believe in true happiness. but at the same time...i look around and dont see it anywhere.
pretences are a way of life. we fake it. to keep each other going.
Would you be feeling any different if you'd been told it was depression? Or PTSD alone?
To me, this has always been something that I will eventually be rid of. It may take 10, 20 years even, but eventually I will no longer be "mentally ill". So yeah, I guess I would be feeling differently about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by control freak
Welcome to the club of diagnoses. It feels a bit weird having a name put to it, doesn't it?
God yeah, it does. I don't like it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by control freak
I always think of it like this:
The things you were struggling with are the same as they were before you had a diagnosis. You are the same person with the same thoughts and feelings. It's just now, they have a name. Nothing has really changed. You're still Chels underneath it all, and we all still think you rock.
That's what I tell other people, yet I can't seem to make it stick with me??
Thanks everyone. It's still kinda sinking in, and will take a while I guess.
I have bipolar type 1 and although it is a life sentence it's negative symptoms can be kept under control once you find the right combination / dose of medication to suit and your symptoms.
It's difficult I know.
I remember writing a similar thread about it on another forum roundabout the time I was diagnosed called "MD [manic depression] 4 life" so I know exactly where you're coming from.
Even though you have it doesn't mean you can't be well and stable once it's under control.
PS. the psych assessment I had when I moved to this area was 1.5 hrs long too. It can be grueling and alot to take in but give yourself time and you should albeit reluctantly at first; get used to it.
your diagnosis does ot change who you are! its just a label and from experience it may change from doctor to doctor ( i have never been given a definate diagnosis..or i mean i have, but its changed so many times) bi-polar is a serious illness but people live with it and can be well for years so it does have to change anything, unless you want it to ofcorse
I have bipolar (idk if its one or two, its the most severe one) and ptsd and borderline personality disorder. it gets easier. and you will gte used to the medicine and it will stop making you sleep so late
There isn't a "most severe" one. Type I is related to more acute manic episodes, whereas Type 2 is continuous, ongoing mood swings.
So you could say type 1 is the most severe, as the Mania/depression is a lot worse, and type 2 is only hypomania/hypodepression, but then you could say type 2 is more severe, s it affects you a lot more, and is more debilitating in terms of long-term stuff like work etc.
I'd like to know who told you you had a 'more severe' type, as the whole point of mental illnesses is that they are all severe. Would you tell someone depression is "more severe" than anxiety?!
Anyway, I have type 1, so thankfully my blowouts are only once a year (ish) for a month or two. However, I've been on all sorts of drugs to get to it (and differnt diagnoses) until Type 1 was reached. I started on Lithium, and I've been not fine and dandy, but sane at the very least!
It's not a death sentence, if anything it's the opposite. You can learn to work around it, and actually get a normal life back.
