I have an appointment to see a consultant psychiatrist tommorow. First thing and I'm really really worried about it. I've already seen one (yesterday) after my symptoms have gotten worse - I have a lot of things going wrong right now and no way out. I am really scared about what is happening to me and a part of me is really worried about this - I saw a psychiatrist at A&E last night and they have previously had a go at me - telling me my symptoms are a 'choice' and that I am a 'disgusting alcoholic' as you can imagine I was not happy to see him at all.
But he was different. Aside from one comment understanding. Although he did at the end ask if I was a risk to myself (I said yes) so he asked how and I told him and said in front of me he was quite happy for me to go home and I would be contacted today about an appointment and by my cpn (cpn didn't bother).
What I didn't expect was a call at 2pm telling me *unfortunately* this other psychiatrist couldn't see me this afternoon though the head consultant wanted me to see someone and was tommorow morning okay?
I'm scared to tell what I am seeing/experiencing. Because I have been told if I do then it will happen much more. Seeing them and them hurting me they've hurt me 3 times now and everytime I have had to kill them but they keep coming back. They aren't human. I'm worried they'll put me on meds that worsen my physical conditions - they are totally not understanding of the impact they have on me and treat them as totally minor (they aren't).
So yeah basically scared. In need of hugs. Words of support. I could think of nowhere else I could put this, please move if in wrong place.
I have an appointment to see a consultant psychiatrist tommorow. First thing and I'm really really worried about it. I've already seen one (yesterday) after my symptoms have gotten worse - I have a lot of things going wrong right now and no way out. I am really scared about what is happening to me and a part of me is really worried about this - I saw a psychiatrist at A&E last night and they have previously had a go at me - telling me my symptoms are a 'choice' and that I am a 'disgusting alcoholic' as you can imagine I was not happy to see him at all.
i am sorry to hear things have been difficult for you and you have been struggling. they should not have said that to you. it is not your choice for feeling like this. i do not blame you for not being very happy about it, though well done for going to a&e i no how hard that can be. good luck with tomorrow hope it goes ok. *cuddles you* please do not hesitate to get in touch anytime you need to talk. xxx
“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”
You have been struggling for a long time hun and keep being brushed off. Take a deep breath and tell yourself, you're just going to tell them how it is. Let them help you. You can only tell them what is going on. Don't let this appt pass you by and make you regret not having told them everything. Splurge, hun, splurge away. I really hope they help you this time. Thinking of you. *hugs*
By the way, in case you are wondering, I still don't hate you hun!
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I am terrified of telling. I don't even know if I'll be able to cope with seeing them - I have literally ran away from appointments in the past couple of months because of being so scared. I either freak out and do a runner (and end up attacking trees - which isn't funny because if I saw people instead it would be them) or a wall descends that cannot be penetrated and I give the appearance of 100% in control, coping etc. Even if I am not.
So when I ask for help I always always always get told I should be worse than I am but am incredibly strong to have survived so long - which sounds patronising to me and like I should already be dead.
It's hard to read things like I still don't hate you! Because I do (hate me that is not any of you lovely lovely people who know more about me than anyone else does and are not disgusted by me).
I don't know when I'll be able to update this but someone here I know in rl might be able to update if I cannot. I don't want to leave this open ended.
I didn't mean to make my post hard to read hun. I wanted you to know how much I am behind you. I'm rubbish at telling them what I am really like and am only starting to learn. Things are better for me telling them. I want you to be able to get the help you deserve. Yes, you are strong, but that doesn't mean you don't need help. I know you need help and really hope you can tell them. Please, try not to run away and try and tell them hun. *fingers crossed*
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Becca, hun, this is going to be the start of you getting help, please just tell them the way it is. We are all thinking of you and hoping we are strong enough for you!
*hugs*
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
"Didn't know point in seeing me. Told me I'm coping. Not to try other organizations anymore and CPN will be told to reduce my sessions. I am a burden. Didn't even deny it. Told * meant was risk by choice. Them who follow and talk and hurt me because tired only and should ignore it. I won't be on going on RYL. He said do what I need to. Appointment 2nd of December but not going and will cancel CPN."
Sh*tness. Your CPN gp someone to be killed. Keep in txt contact with me Becca, I care a lot about you. Keep strong. X
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
That is a sh** thing for him to say. Totally out of order.
I want to kiss the bottom of the ocean before I burst through its surface into the sunlight, otherwise I will always be wondering about what was left unseen at the bottom
i'm tired of chasing my dreams. i'm just gonna ask where they're going, and hook up with them later.
Darling, I know it's probably the last thing you want to do now, but it might be worth contacting MIND and/or SANE - they both offer mental health advocacy services. They might also be able to advise you on how to access the help you need.
Oh Becca, hun. Agree with the above. Please try them.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
