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Triggering (SI/ED) - Dont know where my life is going
I ask myself the same question everyday.
WHY BOTHER GETTING UP? the truth is i dont know why, but i have to. I am 25 and live with my parents still so staying in bed isnt an option but if i lived on my own i would just rot away and not care. I am currently pretty screwed up. Got ED issues, SI and Depression, question is which one caised what? Great little chicken or the egg!!! Its sad to say but since graduating at uni i dont see where my life is gonna go. I am deeply depressed and have been treated for depression last year (stupidly stopped meds) then its returned with avengence and has shot me down this time. But being treated for how i feel. Not that the meds are doing anything yet....i hate myself as i SI and pretty bad ones too, not only that but i too have eating issues. Currently no interest in food and lost a lot of weight. plus my weight is now in the underweight category. my thoughts though are just so dark i dont see an end to it all and i dont know what to do. i am repulsed about what i have done to my body with the SI and this is something i am never going to get over as i cant forgive myself for what i have done. people wonder why i dont go out, but i dont want to go out, i am just not interested in life anymore. i hate this dark place i am in and wonder if its ever gonna improve.
truth is i dont hold out much hope. How long do you reckon its gonna take for my meds to kick in and make a difference, so far its been 4 painfull weeks. :(
i could continue to write about my **** life but no one wants to read about such boring screwed up person. someone said to me i am gonna be a loner for the rest of my life and thats very ture. sadly :(
Last edited by Dreaming. : 19-11-2008 at 08:24 PM.
Reason: Please do not mention numbers, such as weights, in line with the new ED board rules. x
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