Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - he didnt say it wasnt my fault
hi i dont thread much worried that if i do i wont get no support .. coz why would i im me................................... i said for the first time.. a break through in a session i said it was my fault i wasnt good enough it was coz i was bad.................. in my heart i needed him to say it wasnt my fault..... but i knew that wouldnt come i knew it was my fault. i cant cope need to cut this out of me................ the badness... the person who now cant be blameless and faultless... i let him.. didnt say no.............it was my fault.... i disgust myself and i wish i could kill myself... i wish of could cut myself deep enough to hurtenough,,,,,, to clean me from the sin of letting this all happen from this being because of me ............... i cant do this ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, im sorrry :cr azy:: nono::no no::crying :: crying::cr ying:
I dont' know what to say honey. *cuddles* you need to say to him that you needed confirmation that it wasn't your fault. I don't know you but I BET you're not a bad person. And my experience with this sort of thing that is it's NOT your fault. I am so sorry you've had such a negative experience about this. I really am. *cuddles*
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I don't think I've seen you around the boards before, I'm not sure what is troubling you but I'm sorry that you're feeling so down. In the long run hurting yourself isn't going to be helpful and it's just going to leave more scars which you don't need. I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you. I'm sorry that I don't have any more practical advise. You can PM me if you want to talk. I hope you're feeling better soon.
Nathan
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the sheltered never know"
-Pinned to a noticeboard at the US Command Post in Khe Sanh.
thanks but im sure that you would think it was my fault to..... he keeps saying well you went along with it to survive but it was what we did...., the we word i have a prob with... i didnt go along with anything i had no choice, but i needed him in my sessionn to tell me this i needed after several years for him to tell me it was ok that actually i was a little girl who had no choice and it want my fault and he didnt which re affirms all i ever thought.. it was my fault... im disgustin
I'm not exactly sure what it is that caused all this, but if it's some sort of sexual abuse like the label on your thread suggests, it's definately NOT your fault. Nobody deserves or asks for that and there is absoluetely NO excuse for it. Please don't keep blaming yourself, you are NOT disgusting and you don't deserve this.
* cuddles you *
Nathan
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the sheltered never know"
-Pinned to a noticeboard at the US Command Post in Khe Sanh.
yeah it was SA.................... i always knew it was my fault my therapist kept saying he wanted me to tell him how i felt ..ive said nothin.. then i went thinkin i needed someone... for the first time i needed someone to tell me im ok.. and a did i said it was my fault...... he confirmed it he didnt say it wasnt ..... he keeps saying we.... and i cant cop.. i want to die ,,, i justcant find the right moment... i cant feel enough pain.. i hate eveything.. it feels too hard just to breathe... im sorry i dont know why im writing this im sorry xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh hun I'm so sorry that you've had this happen to you. I can't imagine how bad it must feel. I can't tell you how to feel but I can only stress that I believe 100% that you are not to blame for this happening. Maybe you need to find another therapist who you might be more comfortable around and able to open up to. Sometimes these things happen but it's important to find someone that you can talk to. SA is not excusable under any circumstances, please don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
*cuddles*
Nathan
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the sheltered never know"
-Pinned to a noticeboard at the US Command Post in Khe Sanh.
The doctor can't tell you it wasn't your fault, you need to realize that for yourself.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
sorry to see your really struggling i can only echo whats been said. as you were young at the time it is never your fault. that person knew at the time what they were doing was wrong.
sorry dont have anything else to add
The glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fall. (chinese proverb)
We can cure physical disease with medicine but the only cure for loneliness, despair and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love.(mother teresa)
Really sorry to hear how much you are hurting, like others have said there is no way what has happened was your fault. I know you really need to hear this from the person in question and I really really feel for you.
*lots of hugs*
x
