I havn't been in this forum long, I lurk a lot because of trust issues. I have a partner and we live with her three kids. Lately I've found that although everything was ok before, now i have this nagging loneliness and disatisfaction with my life. My stress levels are such that i can't work, so i don't see anyone but family during the daytime. I keep saying to myself that I wish I could just walk into a pub and get chatting to people as i have no friends, but i wouldn't have the guts, i'd need to be drunk before i got there!!!I would also prefer to drink in a gay pub, but i havn't lived here long, so i don't know where to start, and i'm looking for something platonic. I do have one or two friends but they live in another town, and the friend i have online i havn't talked to for so long i doubt they would want to know them. I have an 'exclusive relationship' with my partner, well from my side ie i have, over time, shut everyone else out. My partner, however, has an ever expanding friends list on facebook and i feel jealous as i don't have the confidence anymore....or something, to make friends so easily. I know i sound like a loser, maybe its part of turning thirty this year, midlife crisis or summat. Even on here i feel like ive posted both about myself and to others, and i've had replies, but i'm convinced people don't really want to know me. I've never tried 'chat' as i'm nervous, yet a few years ago i used to chat to people in other groups and on yahoo messenger. What do I do? How can I change? I'm not a nasty person but I feel like people don't like me. Argh!! I dunno, anyone who has read all this can have an award for utter perserverance as its been a long one lol
Amen
Suzanne xxx
Last edited by anonyone30 : 16-11-2008 at 11:59 AM.
Reason: typo
i think you've taken the first step to changing by posting on here. i know its scarey making a post on here (think ive only done that once). im here if you wanna talk any time.
The glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fall. (chinese proverb)
We can cure physical disease with medicine but the only cure for loneliness, despair and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love.(mother teresa)
Yes it was very scary starting this thread, but your lovely responses have made the fear factor worthwhile. Loneliness is all-consuming, and its a hard thing to admit to, because of the worry that appearing so desperate can repel people even more. I don't know if anyone has ever experienced this, but however hard it can be to be in company when you feel low, being detached from everyone hurts just as bad. I dunno how that works lol.
Suzanne xxx
Yes, it was truly brave to open up in this thread the way you did and tell us what you are going through even with your trust issues and all the insecurity you have been feeling. So, I think you should be proud of that first step!
It must be awful to be feeling this way and fighting against it all the time. I can relate since I have similar issues that I face in my own life.
The one thing I do want you to know, honestly and truly, is that I would love to talk to you any time and get to know you better. You can PM me, email me, or if you have AIM or another instant messanger...I'll try to work something out if you ever want to chat one-on-one when we are both online. It is good to have people to support you as you go through this.
I also know that I can say without hesitation that this community, or "family" as I like to think of it, is really caring and supportive. It you get repies, people really do mean what they say and are genuine in their care and concern for you. You aren't alone on here.
*hugs*
My best advice to you is to try taking it one small step at a time in facing some of these fears you have. (You might also try to find out what is driving these fears and the other emotions you are having about your life, relationships, etc...so you can deal with them better. And please share any of that with me or others here if you need to vent or talk.... we want to be there for you, I do.) Make a small goal for yourself each week. Even if it is something small like entering chat here where it is safe and you don't have to stay long or even say much if you don't want to. Or make a goal to take a stoll somewhere public that you don't have to talk to anyone. For a little while just give yourself small goals and steps to take... then as you feel stronger and that you can take on more...
Start making bigger goals.... to spend a little time talking in the chat room. Maybe research on the net some pubs and go to one even if you don't stay long.
No matter what happens, as you go through this please be patient with yourself and please always remember you have us here as support for you. Each step of the way we are here for you.
I look forward to hearing more from you and to knowing you better.
I'm sorry you are lonely, feeling down, insecure, unsettled with life, and having problems you are having to fight within yourself. That internal battle is one of the hardest I think. It takes so much out of you, and then when you feel alone on top of it, well... you already know about that.
how are you feeling? I hope the feelings of lonliness are going away. Please feel free to email/PM me whenever you want to talk. I consider you to be one of my RYL friends
Please keep us posted on how your going and give my regards to Claire.
Nathan xx
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the sheltered never know"
-Pinned to a noticeboard at the US Command Post in Khe Sanh.
Making this thread was a great step towards getting to know more people and opening up a bit! Maybe all you need are a few good experiences chatting or pm-ing people to feel a bit more cared for and not so alone. Every little bit helps, right?
Wish I was good at giving advice or was wise enough to offer anything very substantial, but I'm always around to talk if you'd like...seriously,too, we're not just saying that.
xoxoxo
D'Arcy
Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae.
Lambchop, LadyMacbeth, Butterfly525, and Moonchild are my sisters. Ruffle is my daughter. That Faery Kid is my kitty!
how are you feeling? I hope the feelings of lonliness are going away. Please feel free to email/PM me whenever you want to talk. I consider you to be one of my RYL friends
Please keep us posted on how your going and give my regards to Claire.
Nathan xx
Hi Nathan, I hope i've sussed this quote business out, i'm easily confused!I don't feel as isolated as I did, and that is thanks to you and everyone else on hear who has been such a support. I'm honoured just to be called someones friend, i'm feeling....moved!! Thank you hun
Suzanne
Suzanne
Thank you hun